Sunday

Just ended watching movie alone.. Watched total recall.. The modern technology they used is awesome.. As I was watching, was thinking about nurul.. If she decide to change her number or don't want to contact me anymore, I have to learn how to deal with it.. I can't possibly be stalking her.. But I will still pay for the number that I give it to her.. It's okie la.. This will be the last that I will buy for a girl new hp and new number.. And this will be the last that I'm paying the hp bill for a girl.. She doesn't know that I'm suffering inside me right now.. She's way too busy with her work, studies and who ever she is contacting with or she in a relationship with anyone now.. I love her a lot and that's why I bought her a lot of things and give her money during our short 3 months of knowing each other.. I'm sacrifice a lot during that period.. She doesn't know... I have less to spend for myself, I control my budget and stuff.. I don't mind spending on her.. Does she appreciate that?? I don't think so.. I've learnt from this lesson and let nurul be the last lady that I will spend on and give money.. The next girl that appears in my life, I won't do the same... Coz it's not worth it.. I will be suffering alone and only Allah knows if the relationship will work out if I were to treat the girl the same way as I treat nurul by buying a lot of stuff for the girl.. Wife from a poor family doesn't really care about money... They only want true love with pure heart... Not all but most of them..If I really can't get a wife, then I may think of getting one from Thailand or Bali... Hahahaha... Like the hp that I bought for nurul, soon after that she changed her mind about blackberry and she was thinking of getting iPhone.. I was so affected by it.. She doesn't know that I took great trouble to buy the hp for her and yet she wants to change it... Very sad by her decision.. I didn't show my feelings to her coz I don't want her to be affected..I want to help her make her own decision and build up her confidence that's why I didn't tell her that I'm sad.. In fact, I supported her decision.. Haiz.. If  really appreciate it, she won't have thought of changing it.. Sigh.. Never mind la.. I don't think she will be reading all my blog.. She doesn't even save my blog link.. I can't expect much from her though.. She's still young and she has her freedom in her way of thinking.. Maybe when she's mature enough, I hope she will realize how much I've gone through for her..