I'm home

I just reach home not long ago from the chalet cum BBQ session with my new company.. Shared cab home with 3 other people... Its already 1.05 am.. Hahaha.. Overall, it was nice.. They really opened up to me and treat me as part of the family.. They are not stingy in sharing tips.. I'm glad.. I'm looking forward to work with them next week.. I must do well and make myself proud in being promoted to corporate trainer within a month.. I can do it.. I had a lot of fun there just now.. Play games and chit chatting with my new colleagues.. Oh well.. Zaman you must succeed.. Btw, when I was at the chalet a flash back memory occurs to me of me and Karmilah, my ex fiancée.. We booked a chalet before and we spend our day together in chalet.. Just the two of us.. It was sweet memory.. We will go out and enjoy ourself and buy food to eat.. All that kind of stuff.. We treat it as our own home for the day.. It was cool.. I miss her now.. I must say.. Next week is hari raya and Im quite sad coz another raya going to reach and over soon but I will never get the chance to celebrate it with my son and Karmilah.. The pushing of baby stroller, changing of diapers and all those thing that a father should do, I didn't have the chance to do it.. Sigh.. All this are fated to happen to me.. God has predestined my life to be like this... Now, I must do well in my new career.. Overcome all the obstacle that I'm going to face and earn more money by doing well in my new job.. I can definitely earn more.. I've done my calculation.. If everything goes well, I can save up for a full marriage plan within 2 years.. That money I'm going to keep coz I have plans.. That is to use that money to get marry with the next girl that is lucky to have me.. I promise... Maybe Karmilah or maybe some one new.. Only god knows.. I'm so so tired now.. Mentally tired.. Headache has come to me now.. I'm thinking too much now.. About earning money, Karmilah, my son and my new career... I should worry less coz if I worry more, it's going to bring me down and affect me.. I must be strong and able to move on with perseverance and endurance.. I can do it.. Zaman, nurul has moved on with raudah by her side.. Karmilah has moved on with her husband by her side... I don't see why I can't move on.. I can.. It's a matter of time.. Do get over it fast and done with.. Have faith in yourself..