Hari raya

Nur Karmilah Abd Karim and my handsome son... Maaf zahir Dan batin.. Maafkan ayah my dear son.. I've been thinking about you ever since your mum and I separated... Haiz.. Dah 3 tahun, ayah ingin sangat nak sambut hari raya with you.. Tapi tak kesampaian.. Ayah harus bersabar.. Ayah harap your mother Nya hati will be soften soon.. This year I'm not celebrating hari raya yet again.. Last time I celebrated was year 2008.. Together with Karmilah and her family.. I admit theres a lot sadness in me.. I admit I cry easily nowadays.. Coz of the sadness and all that has been haunting me all this while.. I don't know how to describe the feelings.. Only god knows.. Nurul sudah hilang Dom hidup aku.. Karmilah and my son pun sudah hilang dalam hidup aku.. What else can I say?? Adakah aku bapa tak bertanggung nawab?? Ada kah Nasib aku sebigini??