Still here

I'm still at the Merlion... Haiz... Why am I like this?? My dream to work in the zoo has ended.. My dream of getting a wonderful lady as my wife has ended.. Sigh... My tears has rolled down a thousand times over the month... My eyes are consistently red as if I'm on drugs.. My heart has suffered another setback.. Hurt and destroy... I cried hopelessly everyday... I'm tired of crying everyday.. My brain is exhausted with all the things that are in my mind.. My life is at the lowest peak right now... I need some motivation to keep me going.. I've thought of ending my life.. My health is deteriorating... I miss nurul a lot... Haiz.. The more I want to forget about nurul, the more nurul always appear in my mind.. Her images keeps playing in me... Why has nurul decided to let go of the feelings?? Just because of my mistakes that I've done to her?? Haiz...