All set for tmr

Im all ready for tmr new job.. Bag packed, clothes and pants ready, shoe ready... All is ready.. Ready to embark on my new journey in my new career... What I'm lacking now is moral support... From someone I love or someone that love me.. Haiz.. It's okie.. I can do it by myself.. Ilah, just to let you know that, I'm starting my new job tmr.. I'm doing sales and marketing.. My job description is sales management trainee.. If I do well, I will be promoted soon.. That's why it's called management trainee.. I hope you will give me your blessings... I will be on the streets most of the time.. At the same time, I'm hoping to bump into you as well.. Everyday I'm praying to Allah to let me meet you once again.. I've proved you wrong.. You told me I won't leave my job in the zoo.. But I did.. I resign.. Due to some problems that I'm facing now.. How I wished you were there for me when I'm facing all this problem.. You are the only one that knows how to motivate me.. Many people says that you are not suitable for me due to our difference in character... I choose not to listen to them.. Coz I know you are a very special lady which all of them doesn't know about you.. Now I don't know how are we going to see each other if ever you are visiting the zoo.. Definitely, you are going to ask the people that you know, whether I'm working... They doesn't know where I work now.. Hell no that I'm going to tell them where I'm working now.. I don't want them to destroy my career.. Coz they are really a bad people.. Nur Karmilah Abd Karim, the name has been engraved in my heart for the longest time.. I doubt it will go away.. If ever, there's a lady that loves me, should I give her a chance?? I'm scared ilah.. Coz I still love you very much.. More than last time.. I know your family won't be able to accept me again.. I know you won't love me anymore.. It's going to be different.. I'm just living in my dreams of getting you back into my life.. As usual, I've got no one to tok.. No one at home that I can talk to.. None of my friends that I'm unable to share with.. I keep everything to myself.. Every single things.. That's why if ever I have a serious relationship, I will treasure her the most.. Coz I need her for everything.. You know my life ilah.. Why I've got no one to tok or share with.. Haiz.. This year I cried a lot.. Really a lot.. Maybe I'm emotionally unstable.. Every single thing ilah.. That's why, what I'm hoping now is that I'm able to find and make more new friends through my new job.. I'm aiming to be a manager within this 2 years if I'm able to stay long.. I want to give you or my future wife a very good life.. Not having to worry about money.. Which I am now.. Money is my main concern now.. I've got 3 loans to pay, 2 hp bills to pay, credit card to pay, monthly allowance for both my parents, my daily expenses.. Haiz.. It's never going to be enough if I never work hard and earn mo money.. That's why I decided to take up this job.. The money that we will be earning, through our hard work, perseverance and all, is definitely going to huge.. Trust me ilah.. I just need moral support from some one that I love.. Cry.. Cry...