Last day of 2013.. Tmr is 2014.. I will make decision in a few months time on whether to stay and work in Bali.. Many factors to consider though.. I will see how it goes.. Hoping 2014 to be a better year.. May the business that I set up goes on well and smooth.. It's fate I guess that I'm unable to meet up my son if ever I made the decision to stay in Bali and work.. I just have to accept that fact..

I'm back from Bali.. Reach Singapore at 1.30am today.. It was splendid the time I had in Bali.. I made new friends there from Bali safari and marine park staff.. Thanks to my former ex manager that introduce me to them.. I'm going there again end of January.. Meet up with them and maybe he opportunity to work with them in near future.. Balinese people are a very nice people.. Unlike singaporean.. Got to know this Balinese lady from Bali safari.. She's very nice and she accompanied me throughout my stay in Bali.. We get to know each other better.. We exchanged number.. I was told she is a nice girl.. So yup.. We see how it goes.. Coz I'm not planning to marry any singaporean girls.. I'm starting to fall in love with Balinese culture and Balinese people.. They are not arrogant.. Forever smiling and helpful..

3 more days before I fly to Bali.. The time has come.. Yeah.. Holiday..  My friend wants to rope me in to work at Bali zoo with her... This offer is great and definitely I will take up this offer..  Earliest is next year if everything goes well.. Hopefully I can work there and widen my knowledge and experience.. And my resume will be stronger as I've work with sg zoo, night safari and now Bali zoo if it happens.. I really miss her.. I really do.. No one knows who I'm talking about..

I'm freaking sleepy, tired and shag.. Juggling both my full time job and my own animal training company.. My own company is on the way and in the process of building up.. I've got a few clients on hand.. My close partner and I are setting this up.. Both of us are the director and in near future, once everything is plan and set accordingly, we will employ staff... I've to endure this process.. I can do it.. I want to be successful and be known in the market.. Not only in Singapore but Asia also.. I had sleepless nights, no free time, no weekends, no time to meet up with my friends.. All this sacrifices are going to be worthwhile, if this succeed.. Name card and company logo is on the way.. Thankfully, Cassandra really gives me the strength to go on.. You have been giving me motivation, support and encouragement.. There are times, I almost give up this dream of mine but I hang on and preservere.. I can do this with my partner.. Yes I can..

I've started my animal training school in Singapore with my partner.. We have got a few clients... The amount of cash the clients give me on hand was superb.. Never I've ever received such big cash on hand before.. I've got to make a name for myself and the company... Yippee... Success is on the way.. Insyallah..

My name is up in the Indonesian market regarding animal training... I'm going to produce something like animal planet for Indonesian TV channel... Yippee.. Everything is under discussion now.. Within this 1 year, if I get it, I will be moving to Jakarta and stay there till everything is done.. So excited.. In Singapore market, my name is slowly growing in the market.. Lol.. My dream is about to be realistic.. Thank god.. Cassandra is very supportive of my decision.. I'm going to do well coz I want to succeed and earn big bucks..

My mum was admitted to the hospital early morning today.. I'm going to work now and after work I'm going to visit her.. I can't afford to lose her... Sigh.. I'm going to stay strong no matter what.. I hope I can achieve success soon and give my parents a good life they deserved all this while.. Even if it means, I don't get married now, I will spend one my parents.. They are priority on top of my marriage and everything..

I miss you badly.. I haven't get the chance to see you, hug you, kiss you, hold you or give a fathers love to you ever since you came to this world.. Until now, I'm still waiting for you to appear.. I still respect your mum's decision.. I have only myself to blame for what has happened between your mum and me.. You are going to k1 next year and you have grown up.. I hope everything goes well for you dear son.. I'm hoping one day, I will be able to meet up with you even if it is from far away..

It's going to be the end of October.. And my reservist starts next week.. Hahahaha.. Looking forward to meet up with my reservist mates.. 2 weeks of reservist training then back to work..on my way to work now.. Will be ending work early today.. Will be meeting up with Cassandra after she end work.. Planning to go Seoul garden for dinner buffet and goes around for some shopping if there is need to buy anything..

What I need now is more and more experience.. Be it hands on or widen out my knowledge.. I have plans to set up my own business and that planning has already started.. Give me time and money, I will do it.. Karma has hit at my previous working place.. They deserve it.. That's what they get for doing those things to me.. I'll starting to laugh out loud now.. Serve you right.. I shall not entertain these people in near future.. Coz I know who they are and who are my true friend now.. I'm going to be successful in years to come.. Insyallah.. Cassandra is giving me a lot of moral support now to achieve what I've been dreaming all this while.. I can do it.. Way to go..

I'm happy with what I'm doing now.. My name is still the hot favorite at work.. Sigh.. I shall not be succumb to it.. I shall move on.. I'm still their best ic, that's what they claim.. I do want to help them but who's going to help me?? I have to be selfish in this matter.. I have to think for myself.. I'm standing on my own.. They can survive on their own without me.. I'm getting old and I want to venture out.. I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life.. Christina perri a thousand years is my all time favorite song...

Finally I'm resigning and this month is my last month.. I'm clearing leave and whole month of OCR, I will not be working at night safari.. I've got a new job.. I'm helping out my former boss.. He has passed away last month.. This is my promise to him.. And I'm going to fulfill it.. On his deathbed, he asked me to help his business and I agreed.. So here I am.. The night safari staff texted me and told me hey are saddened by my resignation.. Especially the part timers.. They told me I'm the nicest in charge they ever had and so forth.. A lot of things.. I only told them I'm leaving on my last day of work before I go on leave.. One by one has been texting me.. My life has to move on.. Cassandra, thank you so much for going through this dilemma of mine together.. Now I've got more time for you.. See you later..

My boss from my part time job has passed away on 20th sep 2013.. He was 51 years old.. He lost the battle to cancer which he was fighting for 3 years.. He came out in the Newpaper yesterday.. I will remember my promise to him.. Which is to help run his business.. I'm going to do my very best in making his business successful.. I was affected and sad abt this news.. I went to visit his wake on sun.. I'm glad that I managed to see him in the hospital twice before he left this world.. Well, life has to go on..

Fever.. I'm having fever right now.. I'm making my way to work now at my part time job.. Later in the afternoon, I'm working at my full time job.. I just gotta hang on till midnight and hope my body don't give way today.. Songs title I'm yours and don't give up by Jason mraz is one of my favorite.. Love the lyrics and rhythm.. This month and next mth pay, I'm going to save up for Bali trip.. Not forgetting my bonus in dec too.. I'm going to spend like nobody business in Bali.. For I want to enjoy like crazy.. Yea..

Air ticket booked.. Villa booked for 4 nights.. And Bali, here I come from 16th dec to 20th dec.. Very excited and finally I'm going for a holiday.. Yeah.. Had a wonderful time with her for the past 2'days.. This week can't spend much time together.. I will be very busy with work.. Day and night.. Sorry babe.. Glad that you understand my working schedule.. Will call you when I'm free k later..

As Cassandra is sitting by my side enjoying the sea view together, I decided to write this in my blog with her by my side.. In 1999, I had my first relationship.. Her name is valkish.. Lasted for 3 months plus.. In 2002, I had my second relationship.. Her name is Winnie Lu.. Lasted for a month.. In 2003, I had my third relationship.. Her name is Raihana.. It lasted for almost 2 years.. In 2008, I had my fourth relationship.. Her name is Karmilah and she's my ex fiancée.. I had a son with her.. We lasted for about two years.. In 2011, , I had my fifth relationship.. Her name is nurul zarifah.. We lasted for a month.. And in 2013, I'm having my sixth relationship currently.. her name is Cassandra Tan.. Time flies.. In 14 years, I had a total of six relationship.. Well, I'm lucky to have met Cassandra at this point of time.. We had a wonderful time these two days.. I love you Cassandra Tan..

Cassandra Tan.... The name that has craved in my heart.. It's getting deeper as days goes by.. I surprise you by waiting for you at your blk with my car to send and fetch you from work yesterday.. You looked great in the office attire.. I was astonished on how you dress up for work.. Today and tmr we are meeting... Spending quality time again.. Today I plan the outing, tmr it's your turn.. Lol.. I simply love this arrangement.. I'm off from yest to tmr.. Taking leave.. Just want to rest and spend time with my love ones.. my colleague has asked me to save up his money for him.. Coz he can't save up.. He told me on how he trust me so much and that same goes to the rest of my colleague.. I've known them for less than a year, and they are very very close to me.. I told all of them that I will be leaving the place real soon.. They are very saddened and some even wants to resign and follow me too.. Coz I've treated them like my own bro and sis and teach them a lot.. They are what they are now coz of me.. I give them opportunity to grow at work and be what they are now.. I'm going to pursue my biggest dream.. Enough about work.. I've plan a very special day for her today.. She will be touched by it.. I've never done to anyone before.. She's the first... Well well.. Hope the outcome will be good..

Thank you babe for the lovely weekend time with you.. We had continuous fun and hopefully you enjoyed it too.. We went to eat, dating and other stuff.. We are fated to meet at this point of time of our life.. We are together now.. We are treasuring each other even more.. Our love grew rapidly over time.. I'm speechless.. Have a great working week ahead of you babe.. I've told you abt my plans in near future.. That is to have my own house and be a well known animal trainer.. I'm working on it now.. And I may go overseas to gain experience in animal training.. You are very supportive of my plans.. You even encourage me to go on and pursue my dreams.. And babe, I also told you that I'm going to make sacrifices now which is to quit my full time job and help my boss running his business.. I have to help him for he has helped me a lot before.. He's not in the good health.. I'm going to join his company really soon.. People has been telling me that I will do well in my 30s.. My luck and finance will be going to change for the better.. I can see it coming now.. If I do well, I will not forget you babe for you are my pillar of strength and encouragement.. And I will also not forget to those that has been with me this period.. Babe, I will call you during your lunch break k.. I love you Cassandra Tan..

Is my luck changing for the better?? My boss wants me to run and take over the business.. He's really not in a good health right now.. I went to visit him today and I couldn't recognize him at all.. I tot I went in the wrong room but after checking with the reception counter, it is the correct room.. I cried.. Really.. I'm not joking.. He's making a name card for me and I will run the place.. I learnt a lot from him.. After he found out he got cancer 2 years ago, he's been praying to hopefully find a person that he can trust to hand over his business.. And I came in last year.. It's time for me to repay his kindness and at the same time I'm going to make my name in the market.. I can do it..

Thank you babe for giving me a wake up call today.. Appreciate it a lot.. Although, I didn't ask for it, but you did it with your own initiative... If not, I will be late for work.. Thank you so much babe.. I'm so sleepy now and I'm already on my way to work.. I'm feeling sad now coz one of the animal that I attached to is leaving anytime soon to heaven.. Anytime he can go..i must treasure him.. Sigh.. Babe, I will call you during your lunch time..

Heading to work now.. My lower back is aching though.. Hahaha... Working mon to fri and sat sun I'm off.. Going to paintball tournament this weekend.. We went to garden by the bay yesterday.. Had a lovely day together.. I love talking to her.. She's very mature and she always talk sense.. She's really my pillar at the moment.. Babe, I'm so lucky to have you in my life at the moment.. I don't know how to describe you any further as you are a wonderful girl.. I'm speechless.. Rest assured that I will treat you to the best as I can.. Love you babe..

It's nearly 11pm and I'm going to city hall to meet up with my friend.. Don't know what time I will be heading home.. New passport collected.. And Bali here I come.. 16th dec to 20th dec.. Book the villa in Bali already.. Next up is the air plane ticket.. Hahahaha.. Going to catch the cheapest fare.. 4 of us are going.. 3 ladies and 1 guy.. Lol.. Bali safari marine park is one of the destination that we are definitely going.. I can't wait to go.. I need a holiday badly.. Am so busy with work life and private life... She's always there for me and she has never give up hope on me.. And officially, we are attached.. I'm attracted to her coz of her sincerity.. She knows abt my past.. She knows I has a child whom I never met before.. She's a beauty in her own ways.. She has her flaws too.. But I accept for who she is..I believe we can encourage each other to go on.. She knows that I have 3 jobs and she don't mind if I have less time for her.. As long as both of us trust this relationship.. That's what I like about her.. She's very mature in her thinking and understanding.. She knows that, there's a small part in me that I'm still holding on to my fiancée and my child.. She understand that part of me, in terms of parents and the child relationship.. So she don't mind.. She cant bear to break family ties.. but on my part, i will make sure, i dont let her down.. for im going to treasure her the most.. One side of my job wants me to work full time with them and the other side of my job doesn't want me to convert to part time or resign.. I want to hold on to both job.. I'm stuck in between.. What shld I do??? Sigh..

Spend both my raya weekends working with little paws pet taxi.. That's my 3rd job.. Freelance driver.. Money is good per trip or rather per job done.. I'm quitting my full time job soon.. I'm moving on and I've a better offer wi higher pay elsewhere.. If everything goes well and according to my plan, I may migrate and work in Indonesia in about 1 to 2 years time.. I'm going to make my name there.. Trust me.. I believe I can.. When I came back, I will earn a lot and I will be famous in the market.. By then, everyone will come to me and be nice to me.. But I won't fall for it.. I'm going to make my dream come true.. I'm going to bring down those people that has ruin my life before.. Just wait and watch out..

Today 2nd day of raya.. And I'm already out of the house.. I don't want to stay at home today as all my relatives will be coming to my house.. I don't want to see them and I'm avoiding them.. It's a stupid thing to do and I know that.. What to do.. Will be hanging out with my assistant manager later.. Tmr I'm having lunch with 2 of my ex colleague.. We will be meeting at city hall at 1pm tmr.. Yesterday i went out..went to my assistant manager house to slack.. We had durian, ice cream and some banana pancake.. Then we went over to jalan kayu for some Prata.. Luckily I drove yesterday.. Reach home about 2 am.. My assistant manager publish a book on dog training and he give me a copy to read and keep.. I'm just waiting for the day to pass..

Today is hari raya and as usual I'm not celebrating hari raya.. Been years since I last celebrated it.. I'm on 5 days off.. Will be back to work on Monday.. I just came back.. Spend my hari raya eve discussing and learning about animal training from my ex manager.. If not this year will be the 4th year I will be celebrating raya with my son.. Next year he will be in Kindergarden school.. 3 more years he will be attending primary school.. Time flies very very fast.. How much I miss you my dear son.. Well, this thing happen for a reason.. I have to accept the fact that he's not going to be with me..

I've got myself a 3rd job.. Freelance pet taxi driver.. Lol.. Hahahaha.. The pay is not bad.. The pay is according to per trip.. It's good money.. I've calculates and I just need to make 4 trip a day, and I will earn $100 for the day.. That is 2 to 3 hrs job.. Hmm..

It's Sunday and I'm back to work after 3 days of off.. Birthday celebration is over.. I'm officially 29 years old.. My last year at the age of 20+.. Next years marks the number of 3 as my age.. Lol... My friend had an impromptu birthday celebration last fri for me.. At least there's a celebration for my birthday.. Lol.. I admit I'm too old for celebration though.. At this age I should have settle down and have kids.. Which most of my friends have done that.. Wahahaha.. I'm still a bachelor and free.. I don't know why I took 5 days of off and leave during raya.. I'm not celebrating raya.. Hmmm.. Guess I will be spending time outside during these 5 days..

Whenever pay day comes, I will be the financial consultant to most of my colleague.. Most of them are young.. I will keep giving them advise non stop.. SMS after SMS.. One person from another.. When quarrel happens at work, I will be the middle man to settle it and they will come and find me.. I'm also their counsellor at work.. Why am I doing things out of my job scope?.. Wonder why.. They have not mature yet and they never think far.. I used to be like them when I was at their age.. Hmmm.. It's my birthday today.. I'm 29 years old this year.. Lol.. Pay is in and I've settled all the bills and loans for this month.. Thank god.. Cat food and parents money plus raya money settle.. Phew.. I've got no more worries abt money... The rest is for my own use.. Come next year, when I reach 30, I will try to apply for my own house.. I've got enough cpf to buy a house.. I'm thinking of getting taxi license too.. Can work part time taxi driver.. Daily income.. Not bad.. Shall think abt it again.. For now, I'm thinking of earning more money.. I don't want to think of getting into a relationship or marriage now.. When e time comes, it will come.. Now I'm just a happy go lucky man.. No one can stop that from me.. Sunday, I will be back to work.. Next week I want to work full force.. Morning,day and night.. Coz this week I decided not to work at my part time job.. Coz I want to rest and its my birthday week.. Rewarding myself this week.. Lol..

I miss you.. Yes it's you that I miss the most.. 2 more days to go..

I'm back to update my blog.. More than half a month, I disappeared... Yes.. I was so busy with life... Been working too hard.. Way too hard... And yes, I've been told to do paper work and all the staff ams.. Includes the part time pay.. I'm doing more paperwork now.. It's time for me to learn all that and leave all the work that I've been doing for the past 7 years to all the juniors.. It's a headache learning all the paperwork coz its just not me.. Hahaha.. I'm going to reward myself with 2 upcoming holidays this year... 11th sep to 25th sep, I'm going to hatyai in Thailand.. 16th dec to 20th dec, I'm going to Bali in Indonesia... Hahahaha.. Yeah.. Hopefully I can make it... Went to play darts at senso yesterday with my colleagues... Fun night and enjoyful... My birthday is next Friday.. I'm turning 29 years old.. Holy shit.. Sigh.. I'm celebrating alone this year.. Coz no one has made any plans.. As usual, Im taking 3 days off during my birthday.. 25th July to 27th July.. Nothing new for me to celebrate alone..

Omg.. I slept only for 2 hours and I'm already on my way to work.. Sigh.. Damn freaking sleepy and my illness is getting bad.. Shit man.. Hope I can endure 17 hours of work today.. Pay in and I've settled all my bill and all the stuff.. Fri I'm off and I'm going to the bank to settle something and going to sims drive to get something.. It's good to see that I've got a lot of balance from my pay after paying all the bills and stuff.. I shall keep that use my weekly part time pay to spend.. Yea.. My financial method is working for me for now.. Thanks to my part time job that gives me the extra income.. I don't know how long I can hang on in holding with 2 jobs.. As early as 5 am I wake up to work and end my day around 130 am at night..that's at least 21 hours of work plus traveling time.. That is on a day if work both place on the same day.. Sigh.. My eyes are watery now and my flu is bad.. I give my close colleague a reality check yest nite.. He complain abt his pay.. So yup, after telling him off, he say he will get things sort out and settle this ASAP.. Theres a chance that I will get myself a pair of slipper.. Coz my slipper is slippery and going to spoilt soon.. It's been a while since I last do shopping and even if I do, it will be very rare of me to go shopping..

Working day and night today and tmr... I can do it.. Sometimes I'm lost in my life.. I don't know what to do.. Hahahaha.. In exactly 1 month time, I'm turning 29.. Pretty soon.. Time for me to get a girlfriend?? Maybe yes maybe no... Hmmm...

On my way to airport to fetch my elder bro.. He went to Korea for holiday.. Meeting my family at the airport coz I'm from my part time workplace.. Taking a bus from Yishun to airport.. I'm so sleepy at work today.. Sigh..

On my way to work at my part time job.. Working full shift today.. This week part time pay enough to cover my hp bill and her hp bill.. My full time pay I will use to pay other stuff.. Yest and today my off day for full time job.. Yest went out with paintball players.. We went to harbourfront to chill and play monopoly deal.. Hahahaha.. This coming fri I'm off and we are going to east coast big splash to play lilli put.. A 18 hole golf game.. Lol.. 5 of us are going.. Temba the spotted hyena is fine for now.. Thank god.. Hari raya is coming and I don't celebrate hari raya but I've decided to take 1 week leave during that period.. To take a break from work.. Every week I'm pushing myself to work hard and more at my part time job.. Coz it's a weekly pay and I don't want to have empty pocket every week.. I will try as much as possible not to touch my full time pay balance.. December I want go Bali after I get my bonus... I'm in need of a holiday.. Seriously.. I'm still sick and I'm planning to take mc tmr.. Seriously... Time for me to throw a mc for my full time job..

I'm already sick due to this crazy haze.. But I'm pushing myself to go to work lately.. My colleagues has been taking mc lately but I don't want.. I'm doing this for the animals.. If they are left outdoor, then I shall be outdoor with them.. Temba the spotted hyena is sick... She's my favorite spotted hyena.. Today, I will be calling the vets to check on temba.. I simply love the spotted hyenas.. They have caught my heart apart from the timber wolf at work.. I went in to play with the hyena.. Cool shit.. I've been given the task to train Zulu the younger spotted hyena for show.. I will do my best.. Coz I want to be a well known and successful animal trainer by the age of 35.. Ever since some of my colleagues found out that I went into the enclosure and play with the timbre wolf and the hyena, they have been asking me to go in with them.. They wonder how I did it.. I didn't tell them the reason how I manage to do it.. For I'm able to understand the animals behaviour and their body language.. That's is very important in animal training.. I even managed to let the hyena play bite my hand without the hyena crushing my bone.. They are well known for crushing bone with their powerful jaws and teeth.. Hopefully, temba is fine and is just having fever coz her body was hot yest nite when I touch her compared to the rest of the hyenas.. Haiz.. I shall see what e vets say later on...

Father's Day is over.. I could have celebrated it.. Sigh.. It's okie.. I'm moving on strong with life.. I want to be my own boss.. I don't want to work for people.. I want to get out of having to work for people.. My friend told me that I always have girls that likes me or wants to get closer to me.. I told them I don't know why.. Maybe coz I'm too kind and humble towards them?? And it's kind of rare to find a guy behaving like me.. Maybe my love life is starting to turn well after what I've gone through with all my previous relationship? I'm already 29 and I've nothing to lose if I were to get marry really late.. I don't bother myself with all these things.. I'm not a playboy although people may think so that I am.. I know myself better than any of you.. For I will treat my special one better than any of you..

Timbre substation yesterday with my 2 colleagues was awesome.. Was there from 730pm to 130am.. It was great.. Very nice ambience and good music from live band.. Songs and sms dedication was on and they dedicate the songs to me.. Lol.. Then came an unknown SMS dedication on the tv.. I was wearing light blue shirt and the SMS dedication goes like this.. To the guy wearing light blue shirt, I feel you are very cute.. I was like wtf.. Got to meet the lady that send the SMS dedication.. I didn't ask for her number coz I don't see a point.. She's very pretty I must admit.. Today didn't go out with the car much.. Stayed at home almost the entire day.. Tmr fetching my family from the airport.. Next month is my birthday.. Maybe going out on my birthday.. Not sure yet.. Stayed t home whole day can be very tiring.. Sigh..

I used to call you my girl.. I used to call you my friend.. I used to call you the love.. The love I never had.. Wen I think of you, I don't know what to do.. I don't know when I can see you again.. I miss you like crazy.. You are there when I need you.. Can't you see that my pain are real.. Girl I'm so down when your love is not around.. Well well, just the thought that came to my mind.. this fri to sun, I'm on leave.. Yeah.. Timbre substation here I come on fri.. Miss that freaking place very much.. Sweet memories I had there.. I'm on my way to work now.. Maybe I shld stop helping people at work.. Coz I feel they are taking advantage of me.. I help them a lot in terms of work.. Hmmm.. Wen I need help, I can't depend on them... My next job, definitely going to be an oversea country.. No longer job in Singapore.. I'm looking into other country already.. I'm expected to do out of my job scope coz of years of experience in this line.. I can handle it but I feel the pay doesn't match with my current job scope and my years of experience in the line..

I'm fucking piss off... You guys think I'm your ATM machine?? Fuck you.. Every single day and week, there's bound to have people to ask me for money.. I know that I'm earning a lot nowadays but doesn't mean I will lend you guys money as and when you guys ask from me.. I shall not entertain you guys anymore.. It's through my hard work and sweat that I'm earning this much.. If you guys want, go and earn that kind of money on your own.. On my way to work now.. Mon to thurs, I'm working at both places.. Total I will sleep for 12 hours during these 4 days.. Lol.. I hope I can tahan..

Tmr it's my off day... Yea.. High possibility that I will stay at home tmr to rest and recover... Next week work schedule is very very hectic for me.. But fri to sun I'm on leave and fri I'm going to enjoy myself at timbre substation.. Can't wait for the day to come... My birthday is next and I've applied for birthday leave.. Hahahaha... I don't have any plans yet.. We will see when the time comes...

I'm loving my Samsung note 2 phone.. Next up will be Samsung s4 or iPhone 6... Just cut my hair and I'm on my way to work now... I'm sponsoring one of the paintball team for Singapore paintball series leg 2.. I've given them $500 and another $200 will be in August.. I'm planning to open a dog training school in Jakarta or Bali in a few years time with my ex manager... My ex manager is a well known in Indonesia.. I may migrate and stay there if everything goes well and smoothly.. Which means I'm not sure how long I will be there and I'm so going to leave Singapore... I don't like Singapore.. Sucks.. I'm so fed up with my current work and Singapore lifestyle.. If I make it in Indonesia, I will buy a bungalow, car with a chauffeur and bring my parents over to retire and relax there.. They will be taken care of there.. With the contacts I'm going to have in Indonesia, my family will be definitely safe from everything.. There's a girl at my work place that is trying to get close to me.. My colleagues told me that she has feelings for me.. But I don't care.. For I'm not interested in her and any relationship for now.. Wait til I'm very successful then I will think about relationship.. Hasn't been meeting up with Charmaine for a while.. Everytime we plan to meet, I won't be free... Sigh.. Time will come for me to meet up with Charmaine..

My son birthday is over...wahahaha.. Miracles didn't happen this time round.. Expected it... How am I lately?? I'm ok I guess.. Everything is normal.. No changes yet... Now I'm waiting for my transport back home.. I'm hoping for 14th June to come.. I've book a table at timbre substation.. My leave is approved.. I'm going to so relax and listen to live band music that night.. And what's best is I'm going to have the car to myself for that few days... Yeah.. Im going with 2 of my colleagues which is my two so called children.. Lol..

On my way to work now.. Opening shop today... I'm working two places today.. This week another 3 hrs of sleep... Coz I'm working both places.. Tmr is my son birthday.. I'm working at my part time job tmr.. 11 hrs of work.. After which I'm heading home to catch up with my sleep.. Unless miracles happen tmr.. Hoping so but not high hoping high.. I'm very sleepy at the moment... I do admit I feel lonely at times.. But I've to bear with it.. Hate to fall in love.. Hate the feelings that will be involved.. There are girls that wants to flirt with me but I don't give it a damn.. They are not worth my time.. It's so difficult to find girls nowadays that is willing to go through the high and low together with me, accept my past and for who I am now... Well, I just have to wait for the right time I guess..

Alhamdulilah.. My financial has been very stable for the past months.. I have to keep working towards it.. It's working out well so far.. Thank you Charmaine for being the pillar of my strength.. Next month is my birthday.. I don't have any plans yet.. Hmmm.. Definitely I'm taking a few days leave during that period.. And yes I'm going to Bali in December... Hopefully everything things out well.. Hahahaha.. I'm 30 next year... That's a pretty fast time..

4 more days to go to my son 4th birthday.. Happy birthday to you sweetheart.. Miss you dear... 14th June is set.. Reservation is made at timbre substation at 730pm.. It's confirm.. We are going there.. Weeee.... 2 weeks to go..

I'm back.. It's been a while I last blog.. Been damn busy with work and giving advise to my colleagues... Yest went out with 3 of my ns colleague.. 2 of them which they seek advise from me regularly came to my part time job place and had lunch with me before heading to east coast.. We went prawning and fishing.. Those 2 are my so called children coz they call me daddy.. Hahahaha... We managed to catch alot of prawns and a handful of lobster plus each one of us managed to get a fish.. Lol.. We are going out again on 14th June or 15 June.. We will be going to timbre substation.. Those 2 days I will be driving coz my family are out for a holiday.. As for me, I'm still e same.. No change.. Just that I feel I'm becoming more people adviser and for people to confide in.. 6 more days to go for his birthday..

The 2 colleagues of mine waited and find me at ns.. They waited at the bustop till I end work.. We chatted till 2am.. They came looking for me coz they need more advise.. Especially the girl.. I lecture them, give them advise accordingly.. Meeting with them later ard 6pm.. I told them to take off today as I don't want their mood to affect the rest at work especially the animals.. So yup.. I will be accompanying them today.. Plan later on will be dinner and prawning.. They will be coming to jurong to look for me.. I'm a fatherly and brotherly figure to them.. Today is my off day.. They said it again yesterday that they don't know how to repay my kindness.. They are still very young.. I will be there whenever the 2 of them needs me..

Yesterday was my off day.. I met up with 2 of my colleagues in the evening at marina square.. We had Seoul garden for dinner and we went to Arab street for sheesha.. Headed home ard 1am.. I treated the 2 of them..Before that I was in the zoo.. Bring one of my friend from Indonesia to the zoo.. My 2 colleagues and I had a heart to heart talk... They really needed my advise on what they are facing right now.. They are couples.. They are not having problems with each other but their personal problem.. Yes.. I did give them advise.. They are shocked to hear my stories.. I purposely let them know my history as I know this will help them.. True enough it did.. Now they have gained more respect for me.. I made them think back in every question or ans that I ask or they ask.. They appreciate me more now.. Coz they know mine is a bigger problem than theirs.. They are still very young stage... If I can make a difference in their life, why not I help them.. They look me now as their father, and big brother even though we only know each other for less than 6 months.. It's great going out with them.. Fun and I feel young.. They told me they appreciate it a lot and they don't know how to repay my kindness.. I stand up for them, I was there for them when they needed me and I always make time off for them with my busy schedule.. They want me to guide them in their life.. Yes I can guide them.. I don't see a problem.. Well I hope they are feeling better now..

Today is my off day.. I'm on my way to meet one of my colleague at marina square.. He's having some bgr problem and need someone to confide in.. Yup I'm there for him.. He's still young... And both he and his gf look up to me as their big brother and they have a lot of respect for me.. How I know is they told me themselves.. Both of me are working together with me at work.. Every single one of my colleague has come up to me to confide in.. They are so comfortable with me.. And yes we played soccer together yest nite.. From 2am to 4am.. At woodlands sports planet.. Lol.. THey confide n me from money wise to personal prob to work prob and etc.. And yes I borrowed them money, I treat them whenever I can.. Why I do that coz majority of them are still schooling and haven't serve their ns.. Pity them.. I was once like them.. I will never forget where I come from.. And now for money wise, I'm not 100% stable but still manageable that's why I can afford to lend them money.. Tmr I'm working 2pm shift.. And they have been asking me when I will get a gf and get married.. Lol.. This question never fails to appear at work..

Saw my ex fiancée

Today while waiting for bus at Yishun, I think I saw my ex fiancée.. There's this lady that stares at me for a long time at the bustop.. It caught my eye while I was walking towards my bus.. I was on my way to my part time job.. Hmmm... When I look at her, it looks like my ex fiancée.. If it is, then she has changed a lot.. She looks different now.. Well, I can't do anything now.. It's over.. I just have to live with it.. Hope all the best for her and her husband... Ciao..

Something ruin my day today.. Shit happens today.. Arrrgghhhh.. Spoilt my day and mood.. I hate you to the max.. For goodness sake... I'm taking it easy now and it's definitely not going to affect me anymore.. I'm being heartless now.. I have to.. Think for myself not for others.. This entire week I'm working morning and night.. Back to sleeping of 3 hours.. Sunday my off day.. Sat night after work going to play soccer at woodlands.. Book the court already.. 2am to 4am..

Been so busy and tight up with work that I haven't been able to update my blog.. And yes she has been contacting me back lately.. I told her to stay away from me and stop contacting me.. I told her that I'm attach and to stop contacting me.. Truth is I'm still single and I don't know why I told her I'm attach.. Well, let her think what she wants abt me.. It doesn't bother me.. Yes, I do want to help her but I chose not to.. I have my own reasons.. She say she's going for op this Monday.. Not sure what type of op.. Well, hope she recover fast and well.. Her love ones will be there for her.. 1 month to go for my son 4th year old birthday..

On my way back home now from work.. Charmaine called me earlier on.. She confide in me for something.. She can't forget me.. Sigh.. What shall I do now???? She wan meet up with me later after I end my part time job.. Hmmm.. I will love to give this relationship a chance but I'm not sure.. Given my current working hours and the stuff that I'm going through right now.. It's very difficult.. Haiz..

Damn it.. I've calculated all my bills.. It's damn fucking a lot.. It has been going on for the past few months.. Shit.. This must come to a stop.. I will see what's gone wrong that all my bill increased like mad.. On my way to work.. Ot today.. Nurul and I texted each other yesterday.. I don't know why it happened.. I also don't want to think much.. Feel kind of pity for her.. Sigh..

Damn it.. Lately I've been itching to get new phone... Arrgghhh.. Thinking of getting Samsung galaxy s4... I'm controlling myself not to buy.. If I get s4, I will sign up a new line.. The old line I will terminate it.. We see how it goes.. My heart still hurts.. Yes it still does.. Tmr I'm off but I need to drive my dad to hospital for his appointment.. Provided the doctor call today and confirm the appointment for tmr..

Decided to work on wed and fri for my part time job.. Wed 7am to 6pm fri 7am to 1pm.. I taking my full off day on tues.. Hahahaha... Waiting for transport to go home.. Lol.. Work was ok today.. My kakis at work all off today.. Lol.. I'm the ic tonight.. Hahaha.. Tmr a lot of pple are working.. Yeah.. All my kakis are back at work tmr.. We gonna have fun tmr.. My body still can take the insufficient sleep.. I must keep going on strong for the sake of my son and to earn money.. Well.. That's just me.. I will keep going till I collapse.. Tuesday I shall spend my day recovering at home and sleep.. Should I go out next Monday?? Not sure yet.. No plans at the moment.. Good nitez people.. I want to have my rest now while waiting for my transport..

Slowly, my ex fiancée friends that knows her works with me.. Is this fated?? Am I going to be able to meet up with her and my son soon?? Oh gosh, I don't want to keep thinking on that.. It's a small world.. To think of it, I've been working in this line for 8 years.. Oh my god.. That's long.. I started off as a part timer who doesn't know anything at all.. I grew up over the years and now, I've become a respectable ic and a leader to my colleague.. I'm off on tues and wed.. I'm not sure if I want to work at my part time job.. Grrrr... It's sun today and I see a lot of families going out together.. And I'm working.. Lol..

On my home after home... Yippee.. Hahahaha.. Ended work at 5pm today.. Quite sleepy at work today.. Guess tonite I'm sleeping early.. Not sure.. I'm used to sleeping late at night.. Tmr I'm working at 2pm.. So I can have a longer sleep tonight.. Next month, my reservist mate is getting marry.. Lol.. All the best bro in your new life.. Not sure if I'm going to the wedding.. Son, daddy has something to tell you.. I'm really sorry.. I didn't azan kan at your ears when you were born.. I didn't carry out my responsibility as a dad to you.. I didn't even spend a single second with you after you were born.. I miss you dearly.. Remember to study hard and listen to your parents and grandparents and your uncle auntie.. Don't ever mix with the wrong company.. Be wise and responsible towards your parents k.. IF ever your mum told you why I wasn't with your mum, and if you believe your mum, I won't blame you and your mum.. Coz both of you doesn't know the truth.. So daddy willing to take everything and be responsible for it.. Only god and myself knows what happen on that day.. And why I don't want to find your mum and you is because, your mum is married now.. I don't want to spoilt their marriage.. And daddy did ever ask your mum when can I see you and your mum reply now is not the time.. So I respect her decision and never question her anymore.. I don't want to fight your custody with your mum coz I believe your mum has the right to keep you.. She carried you for 9 months in her tummy.. That's a heavy responsibility..that's why I choose to back off and suffer alone right now.. Daddy misses you and your mum so much.. No one can ever replace your mum.. Your mum has the best inner beauty daddy has ever had..

Morning people.. I'm on my way to my part time job.. In the first train.. I'm opening shop today.. Hmmm.. Yesterday night nurul and I texted a few msg to each other.. Nothing much.. Just a normal friend text.. Hope she's recovering well from her injured back.. Well, I'm a little worried about her.. She hasn't been working for 2 months and she injured her back.. It's just me.. I'm always worried for my friend especially if he or she used to be close to me now or before.. Some of my friend always tell me to worry about myself instead before worrying about other people.. Stop worrying about other people coz no one is going to worry about you like how you does it to your friend.. Yes, I do have a few choices to select from for me to be in a relationship.. It's not the right time now and I'm not ready.. I'm way too busy with work now.. My life is ruin and I've lost touch with the outside world.. My sis is getting marry next year.. She has selected and book the food caterer for her wedding.. It will be a two day event.. 1 whole day at my side and the other 1 whole day at the guy side.. Crazy.. It's a waste of time.. If I ever were to get marry, it will be a very simple affair.. Just the nikah is enough.. No wedding reception and lunch.. It's not necessary to have all that.. It's just a tradition.. I can save up money for my wife future and our child.. I will want to retire in Thailand.. Stay there and enjoy the whole of Thailand.. I don't want to live in Singapore... It's sucks to live here.. I'm hoping to see my son before I die.. Haiz.. And yes, I do miss my ex fiancée.. We went through a lot of shit together.. Thick and thin, we are always there for each other.. Even though she's 2 years younger than me, I must say she's the best ex I had so far.. I don't know how to describe the experiences I had with her.. It's awesome.. We were supposed to get marry 4 years back but shit happens and she jump into conclusion without finding out the truth.. I don't blame her coz at that time she's a few months pregnant and pregnant woman has their mood change very fast.. And the date that we set for our wedding was 25th and 26th July.. Sat and sun.. Both our birthday.. It's over now.. I can only cherish that moments now..

Currently listening to a song title through the trees.. It's an awesome song with an awesome lyrics.. Ended work and now waiting for bus to head home... Yes, everyone at work has no mood to work today.. Coz I morning shift and I won't be there with them tonight.. Every one was complaining to me about how slow the ic works.. Totally different from my style of work.. Sometimes they just have to bear with it.. I don't want to pacify them everytime.. So yup.. Today's work for me is peaceful.. No one disturb me.. Lol.. The sun today was so hot.. Having another migraine now.. I was under the hot sun almost the entire half day.. Tmr I'm morning shift again.. Hopefully, they don't change my shift tonight.. Praying hard.. Charmaine, my dear special friend.. Please stop saying all those things.. Remember this.. You are a nice girl.. You don't have any flaws within you.. But just my feelings for you is not there yet.. Please be patient k.. One day, you may find some one better than me, if its not me.. Trust me Charmaine.. Heed my advise.. This period is definitely going to be hard for you.. I will go through this period with you k.. I will help you overcome it till you succeed.. I know we are very very close... Lets cherish that together k..

On my way to work.. It's raining super heavily and thundering.. Oh my god.. Scary.. Very sleepy at the moment.. It's all about in the mindset.. I can hang on.. My mum bought me a new bag for work yest.. Wearing it today.. Lol.. Today I'm the morning ic.. Hahahaha... Tmr another morning shift.. I shall go home straight after work today.. Rest and sleep early..

Yeah.. I was so happy to come to work after my off today.. Every single one came up to me and say they miss me a lot over the 2 days that I'm off.. Coz they like the way I am as an ic.. They hug me.. Lol.. My close colleague came up to me and mention that they have been saying to each other and to him that they miss me a lot when I'm not around.. Now I'm back after my off.. Hahahaha... I told Charmaine not to come tonight.. I don't want tire herself out.. Tmr I'm morning shift and they asked me to change to afternoon shift.. Lol... I kindly say no as morning shift for me is once in a blue moon.. I'm glad that Charmaine is ok physically although not ok in her state of mind.. She cried when I give her a call just now after I end work.. I called just to check on her.. Pity her though.. Well, I told her to be strong and I will always be there if she needs listening ears or person to confide in.. I'm too nice to people I guess.. Sigh.. Should I change that attitude of mine?? Ok people.. I'm too tired now.. Starting to have migraine now.. Gonna rest while waiting for my transport to come..

Sigh sigh.. I thought Charmaine has understood what I explained to her yesterday night.. She msged me this morning around 8am.. She was on her way to work.. She asked if I could give her a chance to be in relationship with me.. I replied sorry but no.. Yes I'm cruel.. I have to be cruel.. I don't want to lead her on.. Now I'm worried about her.. I know she won't do stupid things to harm herself but am just worried if she is ok.. She told me she didn't sleep the whole night yesterday after I drive her home.. She doesn't want to text me coz she knows I'm tired and was sleeping.. Well, my answer is still no.. It's not that I don't want to give her a chance but I just don't want to go into another relationship at the moment.. She wants to come down to my workplace tonight.. Sigh.. I never reply her to that.. I'm on my way to my full time job.. Reaching soon.. Getting some rest now in the bus.. See ya..

As usual I'm on my way to work.. In the first train.. Tmr I'm schedule for morning shift for my full time job.. Sigh.. Another 3 hours of sleep tonight.. There's a chance I will request for afternoon shift tmr.. We see how later.. Met up with Charmaine yesterday night.. We talked till late night.. We talked about her work and her guy friend that is interested in her.. I won't be posting it here about what we talked last night coz I promised her I will keep it to myself... My working life has changed.. From dusk till dawn, I will be working.. What is love to me?? Charmaine asked me yesterday night.. My answer is... Love is about trust, honesty, accept for who we are, grateful that we are being love by someone, love is to be experienced not feel it, comforts the soul, be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other and give your partner space... Uh-uh.. That's my explanation.. She look lost but she beginning to understand after I explain to her.. And finally, I told her that I look at her as my younger sister.. Hmm.. She look dejected but she's staying strong.. I can see that she is controlling her tears.. I know she has done a lot of things for me.. I have to say it so that I won't be giving her hope thinking that we can be together.. It's going to be hard for her in the beginning but I'm sure she can get over it soon.. I will stay single as long as possible..

Reach home a while ago.. Bath done.. Dinner done.. Pack stuff for tmr done.. What is not done is rest and sleep.. I'm lying on my bed now.. Feel so good.. Any moment I can just fall asleep.. Tmr another hard day of work.. Sigh.. My sis is getting marry next year on 22nd nov.. Good for her.. She's starting her preparation stuff for her wedding now.. April is coming to an end.. It's so fast.. I've lost track of the dates.. Charmaine wants to come to my house void deck later.. She has some problem and wants to confide in me for advise.. Well, I will meet her later.. After which I will drive her back to her house.. I told her to just confide in me over the phone but she don't want.. She say she misses me and will like to confide in me face to face.. I was like eeerrrr okie... Sounds scary... But never mind.. She's still young and I don't have any feelings towards her.. She has still a lot of things to go through and learn in life.. So yup.. I'm going to rest for a while before going down to meet Charmaine.. See you guys..

I'm in the train now.. On my way home from my part time job.. Going home to rest and get ready for tmr.. I'm working from 7am to 12 am tmr.. 17 hours of work.. Endure and perseverance.. My colleague msg me asking whether she's working today or not.. I told her I'm off today and yest.. So I'm not sure and told her to check with the other ic.. She's happy that I got 2 days off in a row.. Crazy girl.. She told me to rest well and won't be disturbing me on my off day.. I'm dealing with majority of poly students, ITE students, waiting for ns.. That kind of age that I'm dealing at work.. Wahahahaha.. It makes me look younger and think younger... Lol... I can't wait to go back to work and work with them tmr.. That's it.. I've make a decision.. I've made up my mind on certain things about my life.. I'm going towards that directions now..

On my way to work now.. In the first train.. Sometimes I wonder why do I have to work so hard to earn more money?? Why can't I just relax and take things easy?? Sigh.. I'm doing it for my son.. I will never know when he will be with me.. If he's with me, I will have money to support him.. I'm willing to sacrifice my tiredness and free time to find more money for my son.. That's a father instinct towards his child.. In my case, my only child.. I can't confide in anyone coz they have not been through what I'm going through right now.. A single father that has been separated from his child before his birth.. A father that doesn't even know what his child looks like.. I'm preserving on coz of my son.. I'm staying strong coz of my son.. I'm sacrificing my rest time coz of my son.. Everything for my son.. There are times that I cried.. There are times I really want to see my son and give him a huge hug and kiss him.. My family doesn't know that I'm going through this alone.. It's very difficult for me to handle this alone but I have to.. I know I can handle this alone.. I'm getting old and I may not have much time left to live.. I don't when I will be gone.. When I die, my biggest regret will be, not being able to see my son for the first and last time before I close my eyes forever..

Just reach home.. Went to watch late night movie at jp with my friend.. Not that awesome the movie.. Quite dull and boring..almost fell a sleep in the cinema.. Waking up 5 am later.. Working..work till 5pm and going home straight after work.. Will try to have an early nite tmr... Someone texted me the other day and say She misses me as I was the last guy she dated??? I don't understand.. But never mind.. It happen almost a year ago.. So I don't pretty much bother by it.. Hope she has move on with her life.. All the best to you.. I've move on with my life.. Not looking into any relationship soon.. All these can wait after I'm 30.. I don't intend to get marry either so whether I have a gf or no, doesn't matter to me.. Love has always been a problem to me since my last relationship.. I can't stand the emotions that will be involve in the relationship anymore.. It's so eerrrrrrr.. I've learnt my lesson since then and that's why I stay single ever since my last ex.. Good night people.. I'm going to sleep now..

My schedule for next week.. Mon and fri working part time job 7am to 5pm, tues 7am to 1pm part time job 2pm onwards full time job.. The rest of the day working full time job.. No off day this week.. Lol.. Another hectic week.. Well, I can't complain coz I want to earn lots of money and make myself occupy.. I'm still at home.. No plans yet.. Decided not to meet up with Charmaine today.. Let her have quality times with her friends.. Next week pay day.. Weeeee.. Lol... Can't wait for the day to come... Lol

On my way home in the transport.. I'm off for the next 2 days.. Weeee... I can catch up with my sleep within these 2 days.. If I'm not meeting Charmaine tmr, I may go and watch movie.. Well check the movie listing tmr.. I'm hungry at the moment.. Grrrrrrrrrrr... Charmaine, thank you for the gift.. But I'm sorry I can't accept it.. That's why I return it to you when you gave me just now.. It's a special gift and I'm not even your boyfriend.. I know that we treat each other as a special friend.. But it is to a certain extent.. I'm not ready for you at the moment.. I'm sorry if it hurts you in any way.. But I have to do it.. Sorry once again..

On my way to work at the moment.. In the bus.. A very hot day.. Sun is scorching hot.. Hahahaha.. I realize one thing.. I've spent a lot on all my ex girlfriend.. Hahahaha.. I don't know why.. Maybe I'm too generous.. That's me.. Honestly, I've been thinking of getting myself a girlfriend.. A true girlfriend that is willing to go through everything together.. A girlfriend that will want to settle down and get marry with me.. It's hard to find a good and honest girlfriend.. I'm still thinking about my son and my ex fiancée.. I'm not sure if Charmaine will be my choice.. I have to think it very thoroughly.. I'm keeping my options open.. It may not be Charmaine.. Maybe someone else.. I'm just wondering will I have time for my girlfriend given the work shift I have right now.. I received an SMS from my colleague.. They want me to work today and be the ic.. I'm off yesterday and they already miss me as their ic.. Hahahaha.. Crazy colleague.. Lol.. Seriously I'm lonely now.. I haven't go out and enjoy myself for a very long time.. Valkish, raihana, Winnie, Karmilah, roslina, nurul zarifah, these are all my ex girlfriend and Karmilah is my ex fiancée which I had a son with.. All these have a unique story behind them..I haven't meet any of them ever since we parted our own ways.. Out of all these, only 2 of them has a very close birthday with me.. Karmilah on 25th July, roslina same as me, 26th July.. They are either the same age as me or younger than me.. So yup.. In 3 months time, I will be 29 years old.. In 2 months time, my son will be 4 years old.. Charmaine ask me whether do I want to follow her tmr to meet up with her friends to chill out.. I'm not sure.. I haven't give any answer yet.. Meeting Charmaine at cck lot 1 before I head to work.. She has something to pass to me.. Wondering what is it?

Juz had my bath.. Reach home about 30 mins ago.. Met up with Charmaine and we went for dinner at Seoul garden after i end work.. Nice dinner chat and fun.. Took a cab home as I was damn tired after a long stretch of working days.. I'm still having my migraine.. Fever subsides already.. Thanks Charmaine for your advise on certain matters..sorry I can't stay long with you today..

Morning.. I'm halfway through my journey to work.. In the train right now..1 and half month to go for his birthday.. I need a girlfriend now?? I don't think so.. My colleagues has been trying to help me find a girlfriend.. Crazy fellows.. Hahaha.. I don't want to go through those emotional feeling anymore.. My heart has been stab deeply and I can't recover from that.. It has left me a deep punctured hole in my heart.. Maybe this sun, I want to drive around Singapore.. Relax and chill.. Go airport or changi or where ever.. To ease my tension.. Take me away from everyone else.. I need to be alone.. When I'm down, no one is going to be there for me.. Which I'm starting to feel down at the moment.. Sigh..

Finally after 24 days of working without off I'm off tmr for my full time job.. But I'm working my part time job tmr. Hahahaha..my body is aching badly right now.. Sigh.. Tmr I'm closing shop for my part time job.. So I will be ending at 7pm.. I just can't wait for Sunday to come.. It's my full off day.. I'm going to sleep well and rest if I have no plans for the day.. Time to catch up with my sleep and rest..how I wish someone can massage my body for me right now.. Lol.. Tmr night I maybe going to meet up with Charmaine for dinner.. Not confirm yet.. If I'm very tired, then maybe another day.. Work is fine so far.. I deserve to earn lots of money this few months..I will be earning more than $3k a month for these few months.. Thanks to my ot and part time job.. Weeee... My fever is in my body.. Migraine has started.. Shit.. I need to go and rest now.. Will be waking up in a few hours for work.. Hopefully my sickness is gone by then..

Yes ah.. Tmr my 24th day of working straight.. I survive.. Fri I'm off but I'm working at my part time job.. Hahaha.. My full off day will be on sun.. It's my sleeping day or trip to bird park with my parents.. I'm so damn fucking tired now.. Very very sleepy.. Waiting for my transport to come..I only sleep a total of 9 hours over the three days.. Including tmr will only be 12 hours of sleep over 4 days.. That is equivalent to at least 3 days without sleep.. I'm having a very bad migraine now.. Sigh.. A very bad migraine.. Shit man.. Maybe coz I've got no enough sleep.. My ankle is fine now.. Walking normally.. My body is very tired.. Ive to hang on till sat.. I can do this.. My body is feeling feverish now.. As usual at work, I've to settle the staff issue and all.. I'm gonna go and rest now.. I can't take it anymore.. Arrrgghhhhhh.. I'm in pain..

On my way to work.. Hahahaha.. It's only 525 am.. Lol..my 3 hours of sleep has already started.. Die la.. Help... So sleepy at the moment.. Sunday, please come very fast.. I'm looking forward to sun.. My full off day from all work..

On my way to work.. Starting at 6pm.. Today is my ot.. This whole week I'm working at 2 places.. That means I will be having only 3 hours of sleep every night.. 2 weeks I have not been working for my part time job.. Yesterday, the staff pour their hearts out to me again.. They have their own things to say to me.. I just listen and give them advise.. A new ic is coming up soon.. They still love me as their ic.. They love me, they are happy working with me, they say I'm very humble, I'm not bossy.. I do things together with them even though I'm not supposed to do.. We work, play, have fun together as a team and family.. They know that I'm working very hard, working on 28 days stretch and they can even come up to me and say, zaman, go and rest.. You don't have to do anything at all.. Just guide us and we will do everything for you.. That's how they are to me.. I just receive a call from my colleague.. Asking me to buy drink for them.. Lol.. So funny.. Btw, they have been asking me do I ever get angry?? Coz every time they always see me smile.. They never see me get angry before.. Wahahahahahaha.. I smile to them and I say yes I do get angry.. But don't test it... If I get angry, it will be a full blast angry... K la.. Blog till here for now..

Just had a haircut.. 2 months I never had a haircut.. Wahahahahaha.. Now on my way to work.. Lol.. I will be having my high key reservist from 31 oct to 8 nov.. Lol.. Plus my off day from work, I will be 2 weeks away from work.. Wahahahahaha.. Yeah.. I shall go for my reservist.. No matter what.. Tmr I need to ot and definitely I'm going to ask for 6pm.. Either I want to catch up with my sleep or bring my parents to bird park.. They have not been there for very long time.. If not tmr, den it will be the following Sunday.. Including today, I have 6 more days of work before I get my full off day.. 2 months to go to reach 4th June.. My son 4 years old birthday.. Next year he will be entering k1.. I hope I can help them financially if they need me too.. I've lost 4 years of watching my son growing up.. I don't even know how he looks like or hold his hand... Sigh.. I can't take it anymore.. I'm grieving inside.. People at work doesn't know that I'm suffering from this.. Coz I never show it to them.. My parents and family also doesn't know that I'm still thinking of my son.. Sigh.. I'm proud of myself of not asking her to abort the child..

I've ended work.. Now on my way home in the transport.. Didn't do pretty much work today.. New ic is under training and I'm overseeing it.. Just working of the animals that I did today... Today's the staff mood is tense after what happened yesterday.. Luckily I'm around coz their mood changes for the better as I'm at the back with them.. They don't like the new ic though.. Out of the 3 ic, I'm the best to them.. Well, earning their respect as a leader is what I did.. Another thing happened at work today.. The staff confide in me.. Give them advise.. One day, I will make the current situation better.. I'm happy that they look at me as their leader and ic.. They respect me a lot.. I've done it.. I've accomplished it within a short period of time.. When I get scolded from the boss, they are there for me.. They stood for me.. They feel it together with me.. Now, some of them are sick and they pushed themselves to work coz they don't want to let me down.. They know I give them everything to do which they aren't able to do last time.. Every night I have a very great team working with me.. Cheers to you guys.. One day, we will go dinner together and it will be on me.. To show my appreciation towards you guys for your hard work that you have done for me.. I still has my bad point as an ic.. But I will improve on it.. Tmr I'm working at 2pm.. Next off day on sun which I've to ot.. I will request for 6pm on sun..

I hate to handle manpower and staff issue at work.. I've got no choice as all of them are young and their maturity level is not there yet.. Tired.. Lol... Charmaine, thank you for massaging my sprain ankle.. Appreciate it a a lot.. Hopefully I can get my off next week.. Now I'm on my way to work.. Starting at 6pm.. Ot today.. I tink I will fall slp throughout my off day..my body is starting to give way now.. Ankle sprain and now feeling feverish.. Sigh..

Ankle sprain

I sprained my ankle at work yesterday.. Shit.. It's painful.. And I have to work today... Arghhh.. I guess I have to limp e whole night today at work.. Sigh.. 12 more days to go before I get my full off day.. What should I plan for my birthday?? Hmm.. I've got no idea.. Hahahaha.. Holiday maybe??

My ex fiancée

Old memories of me and Karmilah, my ex fiancée, flashes back in my memory.. It was great to have her by my side that period.. Well, it over now.. Been 4 years since we last met.. The time we were together, we went through a lot of shit together... I still find the cause of our breakup is ridiculous... I'm not in the wrong.. In fact, I was being wronged by her perception.. Sigh..

Went to east park early morning.. To watch the Singapore paintball series leg 1.. I'm there with the team that I'm going to sponsor next year.. They reach the quarter finals.. But sadly I've to leave for work.. Now on my way to work.. Starting at 6pm.. Yesterday night received a SMS from someone.. I never replied.. I'm not sure if I should replied and agree to it.. Sigh.. Shall not think about it anymore.. I'm just going to let it be.. For I have other things to concentrate on.. Feeling hungry at the moment.. Lol.. Shall buy some food later on at lot 1.. Wahahahahahaha

I'm in the transport.. On my way home.. I'm dead tired.. My eyes are blurry.. I just found out that I need to work till 14th April.. That means I have another 15 days to go.. Ad I'm on 27 days of working stretch.. Fucking shit.. I'm hungry at the moment.. Tmr morning I'm going to east coast park to watch my friend play paintball.. His team I'm going to sponsor next year.. I'm working at 6pm tmr.. It's my off day and I request to go in at 6pm.. I just borrowed my friend another $200.. In total he owe me $296.. I shall get myself macdouble later when I get off..

Shacked and tired.. On my way to work now.. Today is my 10th day stretch of working.. I can hang on till 10th April.. I can do it.. Well well... Suddenly I miss the animals at afs.. Watch their videos and photos on my iPad.. Sigh.. Hope they are doing well.. I'm more mature now.. Over the years, I grew up.. Shit happens and I learnt from it.. Improve myself to be better..

Yes.. All bills settle.. All cleared.. I gave my parents money.. Cat food for 1 month given and settle.. My mind is free from all those payments.. Wahahahaha... Now, I'm waiting for my friend to return my money and my ns pay.. All these are my spending money till next month.. Lol.. Hope I can last till next month.. Now I'm on my way to work.. It's damn early.. I shall slacked somewhere first.. Today is my 9th day of working straight.. 14 straight more days to work.. I hope I can hang on without any mc.. This is the problem if there is only 2 ic.. If 1 ic goes on long leave, the other will have to suffer.. Sigh.. I need to go and listen to music to relax my mind.. There's a high chance I'm going to timbre on my next off day.. Shall ask Charmaine along if she wants to tag along.. Hmmm.. It's been so long since I relax in that kind of environment.. I miss my son.. 2 months and 7 days more to my son 4 years old birthday.. Miss you dear son.. Now waiting for bus to go work and meet up my colleague for lunch together at work..

I'm late for work yesterday evening.. I was supposed to start work at 6pm.. There was a massive jam at kje.. Everybody is worried that I've not arrive at work coz I'm always very early and punctual for work.. When I arrived, they had a huge relief.. Lol.. Even my manager also worried.. My pay is in and now I'm going to settle some payment.. After that I'm going to work.. I'm starting at 2pm.. I had a good show yesterday night with my lovely and wonderful team.. Good job guys.. I've got praised from the director of the how, my managers and some of the management.. Credits to all my team mates.. Without them giving all their utmost best, I can't achieve all that.. Tonight is going to be a wonderful night at work too..

I'm on my way to work now.. I'm starting at 6pm.. Ot today.. Sigh.. I can't wake up.. Slept at 2am yest nite till 330 pm just now.. I'm so so tired..it's my 6th stretch day of working.. Still have 16th day to go.. Charmaine I'm really sorry for breaking my promise.. I promise to meet up lunch with you today but I slept through.... :-(

Brought my parents to river safari for staff soft launch.. Quite lame.. Nothing much to see as some exhibit is still closed.. 17 more days to go.. I'm on 22 days stretch of work without off.. I'm not sure when is my next off coz next month roster is not out yet.. Charmaine thank you so much.. You know what I meant by that.. I'm in the transport now.. Heading home.. So sleepy.. Just can't open my eyes now.. I'm gonna take a short nap now..

Tired, sleepy,aching.. My eyes can't barely open at the moment.. I just did my own business at work today.. No one disturb me at work today.. I miss my son.. As usual.. Wonder what he's doing now.. Sleeping I guess.. His birthday is coming soon.. He's turning 4 years old this year.. I don't even know his name.. That's even worse.. K la.. I'm going to sleep now.. See you

I'm bearing with it now.. Met up with Charmaine yest late nite.. Had a good talk with her.. Pour my hearts out to her.. Went to her neighborhood and sat down.. I have to stay strong.. I'm forcing myself to go to work today..

Fucking bad mood

I'm fucking feeling down and pissed off today during work.. Don't ask me why and I'm not going to say this here.. Fucking piece of shit.. Meeting up with Charmaine in a while.. She wants to see me regarding my piss off mood.. Nice of her to make the effort to see me even though its very late now.. Argggghhhhhh.. I'm drained out... I need a good and comfortable hug now from someone.. I've been thinking of resigning.. But fuck... I'm just into this job.. Honestly I'm already looking at other places.. I don't care about this place anymore.. My anger really blew up just now.. I don't know if I should turn up for work tmr.. I'm just hanging on coz of the money and the colleagues that I have.. Fuck fuck fuck...

Damn

Arrrrggghh.. Damn it.. I've to go to work now.. Received last min call about my colleague mc.. Now I've to go early.. That means today I double on my off day.. Tired and tired.. Sick and tired of all this shit.. I'm on my 3 weeks stretch and this being only my 3rd day.. I'm feeling this way.. Fuck... Shitty feeling.. It has affected my mood today.. Hope everything goes well at work today especially today shortage of manpower.. Charmaine dear, I will always remember your advise.. Stay cool at work.. I know you are on the way to work.. Have a safe journey.. Pinching your cheek.. Lol..

Sori Charmaine for not being able to have dinner with you tonight.. Last minute I haf to ot night.. And yes, I'm the night show ic as well.. I'm just so super shacked today.. Luckily I have a great team tonite.. They are happi that I'm the show ic as well.. Lol.. Tmr I haf to ot.. And it makes it 3 weeks stretch without off.. How m I going to endure?? I'm very sleepy now and I just reach home.. And I'm going to sleep now..

Thank you Charmaine for giving me a wake up call early in the morning.. Really appreciate it.. Tonight dinner will be on me.. You are the first girl to give me a wake up call without me asking any girl to do so before.. What best is you end the conversation with I love you... Lol.. You make me smile and you made my day already.. I'm already on my way to work now.. I'm the morning ic today.. Hahahaha.. The part time staff is not happy that I'm working morning today.. Lol.. Coz they want me to work at night.. There's 13 of them working at night today including full time staff.. I told them, they can't always be like this.. Work with other ic too.. I know they like me a lot but there are times they need to learn how work with other people.. They always give me the same reason.. I will be with 1 contract worker.. Just the 2 of us.. But then, morning till lunch time, I will be very very busy.. Need to go vet lab, river safari, send bird photo, incentive, collect food for the animals.. Wah pisang eh.. I can do it.. Lol.. Tmr I'm off at full time job but I'm working full shift at my part time job... Hahahaha.. Good as no off.. And I'm starting my 3 weeks working stretch since yesterday.. Coz the other ic will be on long leave.. Ok people.. That's all for now..

200313

I'm home and just reach home about 10 mins ago.. I'm working morning shift tmr.. And yes another 3 hours of sleep.. But lucky for me I will end work at 545pm.. After which meeting up with Charmaine for dinner near her workplace.. Had a great night working with wonderful colleague... Hahaha.. Thanks guys.. I'm going to sleep after I update my blog.. Well, Charmaine, I dunno why I've been mentioning you in my blog lately.. Don't ask me why.. Have a good sleep tonight.. I have a great news to share with you when we meet up tmr k.. Lol.. Wink wink.. Good night and hugs.. You should sleep early.. Btw, We are still texting each other at this moment.. Hahahahaahaha.... Thank you for understanding the nature of my work.. Good nights..

For a person that has known me for less than 6 months, that has clique with me very well and understands my personality within a short period of time, is indeed great.. You have been patience with me.. You make the first step to get to know me.. You dare to live up to your dreams.. You dare to pursue your happiness and get to know your partner even better.. For a person of your age, I consider that you are mature enough.. I'm Referring to Charmaine.. Lol.. I'm inside the bus now and on my way to work.. You wanted to get me a watch yesterday but I don't want.. It's been years since I last wore a watch and I will feel uncomfortable.. Thank you for the gesture.. Honestly, my love for Charmaine is starting to grow.. But I won't take a huge step... Baby step for now.. Slow and easy.. Charmaine knows that I still think of my son and I have responsibility to fulfill towards my son and my ex fiancée which I have not being able to do it all these years.. So yup.. Thanks Charmaine for being understanding.. Text you in a while k.. I'm going to rest in the bus now..

One of the memorable day out with Charmaine

Had a great time with Charmaine today.. Just reach home after sending Charmaine home.. Thank you dear for the wonderful day today.. It was awesome.. I shared with you about my life that I've been through, my son with you.. And you too shared with me about your life.. Both of us are getting to know each other more and better.. It touches me when you say you want to look for my son for me if you can.. You even say that you don't mind taking care of him one day if my ex fiancée decided to give him to me..well, that will be impossible coz I don't think my ex fiancée will give him to me.. Btw, Charmaine, grrrrrrrrrrr....... I saw the comment that you post on my blog on the previous post... Lol.. It caught me by surprise.. I know you love me and you even say that right in front of me just now.. I'm sorry but I'm not ready to go into relationship now.. At least for now.. LEt things be as it is k.. But remember this, I will be there for you k.. You are very beautiful today... That is a compliment coming from me to you.. I'm honored to being able to go out with you.. You slept on my shoulder while we were listening to music at the back of my car.. You hold my hand while we were walking.. You make me feel loved once more.. I didn't reject all those gesture of yours because I know you are sincere.. You are being yourself.. Which I'm fine with it.. I love people that are themselves.. They never hide their true colors.. Well, today's outing was splendid.. I can't describe it.. I'm going to get some rest now.. I'm working tmr.. Well, Charmaine I'm available 24/7 k.. You know what I mean.. Lol.. Good night.. Starting to miss you at the moment.. Lol..

A day with Charmaine

Going out in a while to meet Charmaine.. I will be fetching her at her house.. I'm driving today.. Yeah.. Not sure where we will be heading to.. Maybe going to do prawning at night... Going to have lunch and dinner together.. Do some shopping.. And if got time, maybe will sit down at Starbucks for a cold frappucino and chit chat.. I had a good sleep.. Recovering from body aching.. We share a lot of common things together.. I find her attractive in a way though.. Well, like I say I will take it very slowly.. Baby step at a time.. No rushing in making decision for relationship.. I'm oing to get myself ready now.. I don't want to be late.. That's me.. Punctualiy in me is important..

How I wish I'm off today

Afternoon guys.. I'm on my way to work.. I wish I'm off today.. Hahahaha.. So I can follow her with her family outing and cousins.. Btw, my special friend name is Charmaine... Lol.. She's younger than me.. We haven't meet up for 1 week.. She drop me a text early in the morning saying she misses me.. I didn't reply to that coz I don't want to give her high hope.. I'm not ready for all this.. Well, she may drop by at my workplace today to look at the show and maybe go for supper after I end work.. Charmaine, have a fun outing today k.. I will be fine at work.. Don't worry too much about me k.. Don't forget to eat your medicine before you go out k.. I will be there for you in any case like how you are always there for me.. No matter how busy you can be, you will always find time for me to call and check how I am and stuff.. Thank you so much... Lets go on a holiday soon.. I've been wanting to go for a holiday.. This year will be the year..

Special friend

Hey my dear special friend... Thank you so much for being there for me.. Although we have known each other not long, you have been very encouraging.. I'm really sorry for not having much time with you.. You said that you understand and I know that is the truth.. Let time and fate decide our relationship together k.. Now it's not the right time for me to go into any relationship.. Let me tell you this, you are a nice person.. Lets meet up next week for a date k.. I promise you.. The entire day, I will do nothing else but go out with you.. Enjoy your family outing tmr with your cousins.. I'm sorry I can't join you tmr.. I've got to work.. My thousand apologies.. Btw, people, I'm on my way to work... Thank god that today I only work at 1 place and I'm on afternoon shift.. Hahahahahahaha... okie people, I want to rest in the bus now and at the same time texting my special friend.. Lol

160313

Finally, I get to lie on my bed.. It's so comfortable.. I had no time to eat lunch today.. I only ate dinner..that's all.. My eyes can't open now.. Too tired... Hahahaha.. Had fun at work today.. But I'm just too shag t work..hahahaha... I shall go and sleep now.. My eyes is forcing me to sleep.. Nights people..

Happy birthday happy

Now on my way to my full time job.. Just ended my part time job.. Btw, happy birthday happy... Hope you enjoy your day today out on the sea.. I managed to sing you a happy birthday song to you.. Hahahaha...you are very pretty as a beagle.. Your cheekiness never fails to melt my heart.. I'm having migraine now.. Probably not enough rest.. I've been working day and night throughout.. My full time off day is next Monday.. I've decided on Monday will be my sleeping day.. Hahahaha.. Lol.. Hungry at the moment.. I will eat at my workplace.. I don't want to buy food.. I wanna save up the money.. I need to shut my eyes for a while.. Update later after midnight.. See ya..

Morning people.. Waiting for 1st train now.. Going to work... Endure.. My eyes have to last till midnight before I can rest my poor eyes.. So tiring.. I dreamt and it was a nice dream.. I wish it is real.. Sigh..

150313

It's already 2 am and I just reached home.. Waking up at 5 am later to go to work.. 3 hours of sleep almost everyday.. My eyes is half closed at the moment.. I'm so tired today.. Everything went well at work.. Yet again, the staff has shown that they willing to do things fast even though they are tired and when I'm the show ic.. It's so nice working with them under me..I'm leading them to the correct mindset and path.. Yeah.. Transport didn't come today.. Took a cab home.. Sigh.. Will claim from the driver tmr.. Sorry guys if I have not been replying to all your msg.. I'm just too bz to even reply a msg.. By then, I will be tired also.. I'm going to sleep now.. So sleepy..

140313

It's 5+ am and I'm already in the first train.. On my way to work.. My eyes are watery.. I kept yawning.. My body is aching.. That's the sign that I'm overly tired and need some rest soon.. Oh well, perseverance is the key word.. I need a holiday soon.. Really soon.. Bluek.. I'm looking forward to my next full off next week.. If I have.. I'm looking forward to have a good rest at home and charge myself at home the entire day..

130313

I'm holding on to 2 jobs at the moment.. At my current age, I'm glad that I can still hang on to 2 jobs.. Everyday, I will be sleeping for 3 hours the most if work both job consecutively..I will be out to work as early as 5 am and be back home by 130am.. Eat rest and I will be sleeping by 2am.. Sigh.. I've got no time for everything.. Now, my mind is just purely work.. 1 full time job and 1 part time job.. I will keep going on as long as I can.. That's the life of a person who wants to work hard for money.. Went to karaoke yesterday night at grand link.. Played with happy today.. Her birthday is on fri.. 4 years old.. She's lucky to have such a loving and caring owner.. They will be bringing her out on sea this fri.. Happy birthday happy.. I shall see you on fri when you come k.. Miss you little girl.. Whenever I'm down, I've got no one to turn to.. I kept it within myself.. I talked to happy though.. Even though she can't respond, she will lie down n my lap and listen to me without complain.. My son birthday is just 3 months away.. 4 years old on 4th June.. Till now, I haven't get to see him.. I have not gone into any relationship since mid last year.. I don't want to.. Coz I don't to commit into relationship.. I've got no time.. I've lost weight.. Coz I've not been eating well, and stressful life I have now.. I have to stay strong and I can stay strong.. My shoulder surgery that I had last August, is getting better.. Though I still have to restrict my movement.. It's already been 7 months.. I was supposed to attend physiotherapy but I didn't attend until now.. And I was supposed to do a follow up with my specialist doc but I didn't as well.. I'm taking a risk now.. It's my 3rd surgery on my shoulder.. Same shoulder.. 2001, 2005, 2012...

Blog blog blog

Went to visit my ex colleague who just gave birth to a baby boy the other day.. It reminded me of my son.. I didn't get the chance to hold or see my son till now.. Sigh.. I'm staying strong... One of the staff yest night told me that he wants to work today to earn money.. But upon seeing I'm not the show ic tonight, he don't want to work.. His reason is, even though he's feeling shitty and tired, he will still do his best for me when I'm the show ic... I'm touched by it.. He won't do the same to the other ic.. Not only him, there's a handful have said that to me.. They repay my kindness to them in a way la.. Coz I give them things to do which the other ic won't give them to do.. Coz I believe, all are equal.. If a person is a capable of doing it, why not utilize it.. I'm proud to say that I've gain their respect and trust as their leader.. I delegate job to them and everything went smoothly and finished way much faster... I've been mixing with me a lot lately.. It makes me feel younger.. I hope nurul is doing fine out there.. There are times that I worried about her but I know she can take care of herself out there.. July, my birthday.. I intend to rent a chalet.. I don't yet..

I've proven it yet again

I've proven yet again that I can be a good show ic.. When I get scolded, everyone will feel down... When I get praised, they feel very happy.. They do most of the stuff without being told during show..they took their initiative to get things done.. And I've just to double check that everything is set properly.. They enjoyed working under me.. Coz I get things done very fast and they have more time to rest before every show.. A good leader is the one that looks after the staff welfare, take the lead.. If a leader is being scolded for things that the staff did, the staff will feel it too.. This is what I called a great team.. A good leader never blames his staff and takes all the blame to a certain extent.. I'm not boosting but this is what the staff told me.. They enjoyed working with me every night that I'm the ic.. They don't feel the same with the other ic.. There's only two night ic now.. Me and the other person.. I shall not mention name..

I still care

I still care for him and her.. It's been so long.. 4 years has passed on.. I still think of them.. I hope they are doing fine... I kind of miss the dogs at ginny and friends.. Haven't been working there for over 2 weeks.. So busy with ns... I'm staying very strong now.. I don't know when I will collapse...

End of feb

Been a while since I blog.. Next month pay I will get nearly $3k.. Coz I hit a lot of overtime this month.. But most of it will go to bliss, loans, parents money, cat food.. Whatever left is for me to spend and save.. People at work likes to work with me a lot.. They often request to work with me or ask me for help to teach them stuff which is reading the animal.. When I'm morning shift, they will complain.. They say y m I not afternoon shift?? Coz it's fun working with me at night during show.. They will talk to the manager for me to work night as well... Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.... I do have a special friend right now but we are not together... I don't want to rush things... Am taking it very very very slow

It's been so long

It's been so long since I last met the two of you... Haiz... I'm very tired... No mood to work today.. My energy has been drained out due to work.. One of the regular visitor that often visit the zoo, went to watch ns show yesterday night.. The kids came up to my colleague and ask why uncle zaman is working at night safari? Not at afs.. That shows that the kids miss me at afs show and I'm quite well known to the kids.. Thanks to the afs show that makes me known to some kids.. Lol... Well, life has to move on.. That's why I'm here... My age is catching up with me very fast.. Really fast.. Sigh..

Scars, bleeding, animal bites is part and parcel of my job.. Both my hands are filling up with scars and scratches... Well, I don't mind.. I have to bear with it.. I have to better understand the animal..happy cony to all the Chinese out there.. Enjoy these festive season.. Hahahaha

Mentally and physically exhausted

My mind and body can't function well.. Coz I'm way too exhausted from working.. I'm will working ot over cony.. Sigh... I'm so tired.. On my way to work now.. 2pm shift today.. For the past 2 days, I worked morning shift and during these 2 days, people has been asking me to work double.. But I don't want and I ask them why.. They say they like working with me.. Fun working with me around.. Sorry guys.. I guess I'm too nice to them.. I don't find people to be with me but they are the ones that want to be and work with me.. Blog till here as my mind is tired to think..

040213

Tired, sleepy.. This is what I'm feeling right now.. My body can't take it anymore.. It means I'm getting old.. When I was much younger, I can work morning and night almost everyday.. But now, my body is feeling the effects.. Sigh.. Today and tmr double.. I hope I can endure till tmr night..

Miss him

I miss my son.. Suddenly thought of him.. :-(

My thoughts

I'm on my way to ginny and friends.. After which I'm working at ns.. Sleepy and tired at the same time.. Everyone at work kept asking me when will I get marry?? Why I don't have a gf?? I told them its still a long way for me to get marry.. I don't have a gf coz I'm too lazy to have one.. Wasting my time and I'm not strong enough to go through those up and down emotions.. I'm happy for what I am now.. Sometimes can be lonely but I just have to bear with it.. It's her birday when she msg me.. I totally forgot.. Even if I remember, I guess I won't be wishing her either.. She msg me saying that she's 21 already.. Hmmm.. I miss the animals at afs.. I just have to control it.. Just have to look at their pictures.. I don't want to go back and visit them.. I have my own reasons.. I hope the animals there knows the reason.. I know max and faith will definitely miss me.. Coz I'm so closed to them compared to the other staff.. I didn't bid a proper farewell to the animals when I left.. I hope they are doing great now..

280113

On my way to work.. Yesterday night was he first time that I took charge of the show.. Everything.. There are people that tries to be funny but I shoot them down.. Coz I'm in charge..I don't want to be nice anymore as people will climb over my head.. I replied to her msg yesterday but she don't reply.. After a few days she msg me..This is wad I told her.. I'm doing very good outside.. My family are family.. Thank you for asking.. I have a special friend now and although she's ok with me contacting you, but I don't want.. Hope you understand.. Live your life to the fullest and do well in your studies.. I hope you are happy being with her.. Take care.. She didn't reply me though.. Which I don't expect her to reply either..

270113

On my way to work.. Yest went out with one of my colleague to look for show vest.. After that we went to city hall to sit and have a drink.. We had a heart to heart talk about work.. We are close... Some of them looks at me as their big bro at work.. They will talk to me and pour their hearts out.. For I don't mix with the politics and I'm willing to lend a listening ears to them... Well well... They are still a young bunch of people.. I'm one of the oldest there and yet I can blend well with them and the group.. That's just me..

Finally,it's my off

Today it's my full day off... Slept 10 over hours since yesterday night.. After work last night, went out for supper and some drink.. Reach home around 4am.. Now I'm on my way to beach road to get myself a show vest.. Sigh.. My off yet I'm forcing myself to go out... My next off will be on thurs.. Still a long way to go..

240113

So sorry for not been updating my blog.. Yest night, one of the girl that I used to date and like msged me... I didn't reply.. I don't see a point in doing so.. Cause she has hurt me.. So yup.. On my way to ginny.. Later afternoon I'm working at ns.. This year, I've to be patient in order to achieve the things that I want.. I hope everything goes well this year..

Another busy week

This week another busy week.. Working at ginny on mon,wed, thurs.. Working at ns on mon, tues,wed, sat and sun.. My only off day this week is on Friday.. That also if they never call me back for ot.. On my way to ginny.. I'm opening the shop today and wed.. Thurs, I'm closing shop.. Today working from 7am to 1pm.. Same goes on wed... After that nite safari starting at 2pm.. Tired and tired.. I've to endure and I know I can do it.. Last sat, brought down 2 baby binturong to river safari for training and conditioning.. The ns staff are shock that most of them knows me including the bird park guys.. My zoo manager praises me in front of them that I can train animals.. I need not be proud.. Coz people will say about me in training if I'm good or bad.. I will let them judge it.. And they have asked me to go back to the zoo and work with them.. They have plans which they shared with me privately and I can't disclose it here.. Anytime I will join and help them back.. I'm waiting for the time..

Been busy lately

I've been so busy lately that I've not been blogging for the past weeks.. Ended my reservist yesterday.. I was the acting platoon sergeant for this ict.. I will be promoted to sergeant.. But I need to go for transport supervisor course first before I'm able to be promoted.. Today, I've got to OT at ns.. I just have to accept it.. Today I will be the show ic again.. Well, I just have to give my best.. I miss her and him.. I've waited for 4 years and I'm still waiting for the moment to come.. I'm still waiting coz I know that I still love her deep inside me even though she's married.. But I won't go to the extent of breaking up their marriage.. I will love her from far away and from a distant..