Home sweet home

Hey I'm back home after a long day outside.. Nice day today.. But I'm super tired now.. Thanks my dearest mystery friend for today.. Lovely day..  I'm sleeping soon and currently lying on my bed updating my blog using my ipad 2.. Next few days I will go home straight after work.. Rest.. Going out on weekends to meet my dearest mystery friend.. Woohoo.. Looking forward for it.. What did I do today?  Watch movie, walk around, meet my mystery friend, break fast halal Thai food and went to hospital.. Hmm.. My mystery friend has told me something in the car while sending me back home.. I have to take it into consideration about that question.. It involves the future.. Im very scared and not ready..but I shall give it a thought.. To be fair.. Will give the answer by this weekend.. Insyallah.. My mystery friend knows what is going on in my life now and my past of having a son and stuff.. Okie people.. Good nights.. Sweet dreams..

Miss the time at stansfield college

Suddenly I miss the time when I was doing my ite attachment at stansfield college.. That was back in 2003..  Abang Yusuf, Nora, Darlene, sharlyene, Michael, Thomas, rokiah, uncle sundram, and some other staff that I forgot their name.. It was an experience working in a private institution with international students.. I worked with abang Yusuf the most... Hahaha.. The time we go smoke together, set up classes for the lecturers and all.. Not forgetting Nora.. She is the closest to me.. Hahaha.. We will talk cock and sing song.. All I've lost contact.. Sigh.. What a pity..

My life is about to change

Tmr is August already.. My life is going to change.. My career going to turn around.. My love life going to change too.. Everything is going to change too.. Yeah.. Visiting my mystery friend sister.. Just give birth to a baby girl... The family saw me  after so long of disappearing..  They are still the same old people.. Cheerful and friendly..  Well well.. I'm not ready for all this yet.. Give me time please.. I need to concentrate on my career first.. Build it up once again and achieve success with my news career... Guess will be at the hospital for a while tonight.. Hahahahaha.. Chatting with the family member.. Some catching up to do with each other..

Halal Thai Food

Had halal Thai food for break fast with my mystery friend.. Hahaha.. Nice food... Hahahaha... Thanks for the treat my mystery friend.. And you bought for me flu medicine too.. Aww.. Nice of you.. I appreciate it a lot.. First time in my life, someone bought for me medicine.. Touching.. Give me time to get over all this shit that has been happening to me.. I've called the company and set the dates for my 2 days of training for my new job.. Yippee.. My mystery friend is motivating me to do well in my new job and to earn more money.. Although busy with work and sch, my mystery friend has been texting and calling me to check how I am and stuff.. Genuinely care for me without fail over the week..

Hi all

Hey people.... I will be working for 3 and half days more for August.. After that I will be clearing my leave and off days till my last day of work.. 3 and half days will be fast.. Hahahaha.... Meeting my mystery friend later near the workplace... Break fast together.. Haven't decided where to break fast yet.. What a day today.. During my leave period, I don't know what to do..  Maybe go on a short holiday?? I will try to ask my mystery friend if free next week then we can go holiday together.. I'm so tired.. I will make sure I get plenty of rest and clear my mind as much as I can during my leave period for my new job..

Feedback on the movie

The Thai movie I miss you is not scary at all but the love story is excellent.. Very touching.. Nearly cried in the cinema.. Haiz.. I don't know where to go now.. Just wandering around.. Still texting my mystery friend from morning.. Don't know whether to meet later or not.. Or worse come to worse, I will ask my mystery friend to come to my house area and we can hang out at the macdonald in front of my house at night after work.. Coz I'm lazy to travel far today.. I shall see what I can do now.. Update again later..

Movie date alone

Hey.. I'm on my way to Jurong point to watch movie alone... Movie title : I miss you.. It's a Thailand horror movie.. Starting at 11 am... After that, see where I wish to go.. Hahahaha.. Have a good day everyone..

Last Day of July

Good morning.. I'm awake from just now.. I'm off today and I don't know what to do.. Meet up with my mystery friend later during lunch or dinner? I don't know yet..  Watch movie alone later?? Hahahaha.. I've told umi to throw away my photos and wordings that I give her on our first month Annivesary.. I just want her to forget about me for no feelings between us are involved now.. She posted something about a gal photo in her blog.. Guess shes very close with her.. She told me before she wants to turn into a lesbian.. And maybe that's her girlfriend.. Who knows.. I'm just guessing.. Well.. What she chooses in her life now or what she does in her life now, doesn't concern me anymore.. It's her life.. I have to respect that.. Come my last day at work in the zoo,I will no longer using my old number anymore.. My mystery friend texted me just now till now.. It makes my day just to see the encouragement msg and the care and concern  that was shown towards me.. Next week plan is to go break fast with my mystery family friend, go for my new job 2 days induction wearing smart attire and clearing my leave.. Ok people.. Till here..

Oh yah

Oh ya.. Before I forget... I went to m1 shop just now.. My hp num 83886986 will be terminated / cut off on my last day of work in the zoo.. By midnight on that day.. So yup.. Good nights..

Im home

Hey I'm home.. Can't take it.. My fever and flu.. Tts why decided to go home early.. See how my condition later if need go to hospital.. Had a nice talk and dinner together.. Meet up soon mystery friend.. Still texting me even though we just met.. Be careful on the road.. Drive with care.. Haiyo.. Let's put our past behind and I will move on and start afresh.. People, anything leave a comment at my blog or sms or what's app me k.. Those who have my new number, please use that.. I'm going to rest now... Good nights people..

Thank you my mystery friend

Thank you for coming to fetch me yesterday and today my mystery friend.. And break fast with me for both days.. We are at seoul garden now.. Thank you my mystery friend for sharing a lot of things which I was kept in the dark for a few years.. Though I'm having fever and flu now, I still make the effort to meet my this mystery friend.. A fun loving, caring person.. It just makes my fever and flu goes off for a moment.. Not sure where we are heading after this.. Hahaha.. Though its just the two of us, I enjoyed the company..  The family of my this mystery friend asked about me and wants me to go over to their house for break fast one day.. Maybe next week or what, I go over.. Insyallah.. Going to the hospital later at night if my fever gets higher.. This mystery friend of mine will come and send me there if I want.. But I don't want to trouble my mystery friend.. I will go myself.. Sneezing and sneezing and sneezing... Headache and migraine.. Body is hot.. All in one at the same time..

No title

I've ended work for today.. My flu is worse.. Sneezing a lot of times.. Umi and I texted each other today.. I've told her about the ring.. I've told her that I'm going to let my feelings for her disappear.. It will take a while for it to be completely gone.. I still care for her.. I still worry about her.. I still love her.. I still miss her.. All that will come to an end soon.. Umi, promise me you will take care of yourself k.. Coz I'm going overseas to work in a few months time if everything goes well.. I may stay there for good.. Promise me you will do well in your studies.. Promise me you will find some one better than me and good towards you, love you genuinely.. If you are happy, I'm happy for you too.. But you can always contact me through email or through my blog k.. Feel free to leave comment on my blog.. I no longer use my Facebook and I may not use my hp number over there.. Just do me a favour.. Don't tell anyone from my workplace that I've found a job and will be going overseas to work k.. Miss you umi..

My flu is bad

My flu is bad.. Sneezing a lot from morning.. Today is Monday.. Monday blues... My assistant manager came and talk to me today morning.. He has plans and I'm not going to post it here.. But one day, insyallah, I will follow him overseas and learn animal training from him.. Coz overseas project is big and it's going to be an eye opener for me and good opportunity for me to widen my knowledge on animal training.. Tmr off day..  Maybe going out.. Not sure.. Miss umi.. Miss going out with her.. I still love her though.. But I have to control it.. Can't wait for my new job in August.. Umi is quitting her job next month.. All the best for her and in whatever she does..

High fever

High fever has come to me.. And yet I'm going to work.. Haiz.. Flu not getting any better too.. August is coming.. I need not wake up so early when my new job starts.. Hahaha.. Tmr I think I'm going out.. Dun wan to stay at home tmr.. Break fast alone outside tmr.. I will have 2 days of induction at the office when I start my new job.. Will be put through intensive training and most importantly, I'm going to have fun with the people there.. From youngster to mature people.. From degree holder to ite holder.. Ite holder like me.. I think I'm the only ite holder there.. I must be proud.. Lol.. Blog later.. My nose is giving me trouble..

Can't sleep

Argghhhh... I can't sleep.. My sneezing is getting worse.. My eyes are heavy.. I really need to go and sleep now but I can't.. Can someone pat me to sleep??? Or shall I eat sleeping pills?? Zaman zaman.. You are very weak now.. From everything that is happening now..that's why you fall sick.. Will I be able to fit into the new work and mix with my new colleague?? I guess I can.. Majority are Chinese.. I prefer Chinese than Malay though.. Maybe coz majority of my friend are Chinese and I've been working in a Chinese environment for so long.. Now listening to shayne ward song.. Song Title is I cry.. The lyrics and songs are so nice and meaningful.. You guys should go YouTube and listen and see the lyrics.. So touching.. Good night people.. Trying to get some sleep after listening to the songs.

Fever and flu go away

Fever and flu, please go away.. I don't need you now.. Let me recover soon.. I think due to my lack of sleep and rest over the month.. I want to sleep early, but I can't sleep.. Sian.. I'm so tired.. Body is aching.. So looking forward to my new job.. Smart attire and the work.. Hahaha.. I thank god for giving me a lot of job offer during this fasting month.. And giving me success in all the job interview.. Amin.. Vomit in the morning before work.. Haiyo.. Need a good massage right now.. And umi texted me.. She called me ayah.. I was surprised.. Why does she call me that when she say her feelings for me has gone away?? Maybe it's meant for other person.. Not me.. I don't want to assume that it's me.. Coz I know it's not me.. Enough say about umi.. I just have to concentrate ongetting well, looking forward to my new job and end the work in the zoo in a good manner.. Patience is a virtue... I shall not mention where I'm going to work for some reasons.. But rest assured, with hardwork and preserverance, I definitely going to earn more than what I earn in the zoo.. Ok people.. I'm going to rest now.. Headache is starting already.. Love you people.. Good nights..

Bonus question

Hellloooooo.. I've ended work for today.. Some people have been asking me this question... Will you get back with your ex fiancée? This is my answer to that question... NO if I have a girlfriend or going to marry my girlfriend.. Yes if I don't have a girlfriend and still single.. Why yes, it's because for the sake of my son.. Even though we parted ways with each other, it's not my fault.. I don't blame her for coming to that decision and she choose to believe her family.. I bear no grudges against my ex fiancée.. Btw, I texted umi just a while ago.. Drop her a msg saying hope you and your family are fine and well.. Hope your studies is ok.. Have a nice day.. Umi replied oh ok.. At least she replied me.. :-).. It's a really hot day today., I'm having fever and it doesn't help.. Haiz.. What a day.. Been sneezing from just now... My mum ask about umi again.. I told my mum, we are not contacting each other anymore and we are just friends.. She was like Haiz... Ok.. Guess she will stop asking about umi again.. I will bearing smart attire everyday for the new job.. Can't believe it.. I'm wearing that actually.. Hahaha.. Guess my break time, I will have to bring bread with some fillings everyday.. Won't tell you guys why I'm eating bread for new job.. Btw, the 2nd ring that I was supposed to buy for umi, Ive cancelled the order.. Although I've paid the deposit, I called them up and say I don't want the ring anymore.. It's okie la.. Better to cancel than to throw it away like the first ring.. Wanted to give her on my birthday actually to surprise her.. Hahahaha.. But shit happens.. So yup.. There goes the ring.. Tmr another day of work before I off..so I must endure the fever and sneezing.. Ok la people.. Time for me to go.. See ya..

In loving memories... Shane..

Good afternoon everybody.. Having my lunch break from work.. For your info, to is Shane's, Animal Friend Show German Shepherd, death Annivesary... I found him lying motionless in his den when I did first check.. Gentle giant and sweet German shepherd I ever known.. Shane is the one that let me overcome my fear of German shepherd.. Miss you baby boy.. You will always be in my heart together with the rest that has passed on.. Today is Sunday and a very hot day.. Wahhh... Wonder what is umi doing now? Is she working? Never mind.. The answer will not be known.. Tuesday is my off day.. Shall I go out?? Shall I ask people who's free?? I shall see how on that day.. Ok la people.. I'm going to rest now.. Update again later when I end work k..

Fever

Good morning people.. I'm having fever now.. But I'm going to work.. Haiz... Sigh.. Anyway, 2 weeks to go before my officially last day.. So fast.. What the hell.. Today is going to be another good day for me.. I will tell myself to be happy today and do my work diligently.. Don't care about the rest that will happen later.. Ok la.. I'm going to rest in the train now.. See ya..

Blog

Why do I keep blogging? Simply because, I'm bored and need some one to talk to.. I guess she has forgotten about me.. Haiz.. My birthday, she didn't wish me also.. Never mind la.. She has moved on with her life.. Let's see.. Hmmm.. At the same time as I'm blogging, I'm texting my friend.. Hahaha.. Watch 3 stooges yest.. Awesome.. Funny movie.. Hahaha.. Thinking of my son right now.. I don't know why lately, I've been thinking about my son.. Whereas I've not really been thinking abt my son for a while last time till now.. Is he well treated by his step father?? Are they a happy family?? Son son.. When you grow up, don't look for me.. Even if you find me, do not acknowledge me as your father.. I don't deserve it.. I didnt take care of you or give you love at all.. I'm so sleepy now but I can't sleep.. All my relationship sucks big time.. Always failed.. Oh god... Please give me strength to move on.. I'm not the old zaman now.. Plz give me back my old zaman to me.. Tears tears... Ok la..I'm going to rest now.. Good night my dear blog and to all of you people out there..

Good evening

Hey guys... Good evening... I'm on my way home from work.. A normal day today.. Nothing much.. Just tired.. Both mentally and physically.. 3 more weeks to hari raya.. I'm not celebrating as usual.. Hahaha.. 1st day of hari raya, I will be at home alone.. Coz it's a Sunday..I'm not sure what to do on that day.. Maybe go out?? Going to rest early tonight.. Hope I can catch some sleep tonight.. See ya..

Break from work

Hey people.. I'm having my break from work.. Hmmm... Kind of having headache right now.. It's Saturday people.. Enjoy your day people.. There's a lot of stuff in my head right now.. Very hot day.. Hahahaha... Next week is August already.. So fast.. Haiz.. I've got no mood to blog.. See ya people..

On my way to work

Good Morning people... I'm on my way to work... A cold morning.. I'm going to wear smart attire for my new work... Hahahaha... Uncomfortable but it's a matter of getting used to wear that attire.. Dreamt of umi yesterday night.. We celebrated hari raya together and guess what... With 2 baby with us.. She holds one baby, I hold one baby.. Nice dream.. Ok la.. Blog later..

Hey

Hey people... I'm back home already... Wah... What a day.. Thanks best fren for the movie and dinner treat.. Nearly had 2nd accident on ECP going to bugis.. This time with a bike.. The traffic was so heavy and slow moving.. Haiz.. I must say because of my headache and migraine.. Went to Geylang bazaar.. And first thing in my mind was to get a set of baju melayu / kurung for umi.. Both me and her 1 set.. How I wish we could celebrate hari raya together every year.. How I wish me and umi will walk down the bazaar together.. Haiz... Never mind.. It will never ever happened now or near future.. I want to contact her but I refrain myself.. Coz I hope to forget her.. It's very difficult coz I still love her a lot... But she doesnt have any feelings for me anymore.. Haiz.. How is umi?? Hope she's doing fine and well.. Her family too.. Her studies I hope she's coping well.. Ok la people.. Till here..

Accident

Oh gosh.. I nearly had an accident with another car... Phew... Thank god nothing happened.. No one is injured or whatsoever... If I had an accident, I don't know what will happen.. It's all because of my headache and migraine.. My mind too.. Not relax and always thinking of a lot things.. Well, it's all over... Later going Friday prayers,watch movie 3 stooges, go bugis then go Geylang bazaar.. Tmr start work.. Excluding leave and off, I have about 7 days of working left.. Going to miss that place..the animals especially.. Faith and max and the rest.. Forgive me for leaving you guys.. You darlings will always be in my mind and especially in my heart.. I will remember the times when you guys are mischievous, playful and stuff.. You darlings never fail to make my day every time I work.. Miss u all my darlings...

Exciting day today

Good morning people.. Thank allah that I live to another day.. Amin.. Today going to be a busy day for me.. Will be out since morning till late night again.. Guess what, Im driving again and the car is for myself whole day again today.. Yippee.. Watch movie, buka puasa, going Geylang bazaar with my best and close friend.. Hahahaha.. I'm so sleepy.. Slept around 3 am and I'm already awake at 8am.. I don't have a decent sleep for the past 1 month and my appetite for eating is worse.. I've lost weight.. My weight has decrease, my face looks weird... Sigh..

Birthday over

I'm home people.. My birthday had just over.. Hahaha.. I'm Officially 28 years old.. If umi and I are still together, today marks the 2nd month of our relationship.. But too bad it ends about a month ago... 27th May 2012 the day we started our relationship... 20th March 2012 the day umi started smsing me at 8.04 pm.. The day we started to get to know each other.. Well it's all over.. Both of us has move on with our own respective life.. She has her own life, I has my own life now.. Hey.. Wait.. Why am I starting to talk about umi?? Forget about umi zaman.. Don't ever talk about umi again in this blog.. You are a strong person.. Move on.. Build your career along the way.. Strive for the best.. Make yourself appear in the newspaper headlines one fine day.. I'm so tired.. Out from morning till midnight.. Haiz.. But it's all worth it.. Mix with proper friends will lead you to happiness and laughter even though you are damn tired for the day.. It's all worth it.. Will I find a new girlfriend after this relationship?? Hell no.. Not at the moment when I'm building up my career and planning to earn loads of income.. After my career is stable, maybe only I will go into relationship.. Provided there's some one out there I like and love.. And same goes for her.. If she like and love me.. That all depends.. Remain single and bachelor is still the best.. Money is all yours to spend.. Insyallah.. Time to go rest and sleep.. I don't think I can sleep.. But I will try.. Even if I sleep 3 am or 4 am, I don't care.. Rest and lying on my bed is good enough for me.. Good nights people...

Thank you people

Thank you to all the hunks and babes that make today a great and fun day for me.. Thank you once again.. Sitting at the esplanade by the river now.. Enjoying my last few hours of my birthday. A windy night it is.. I din get myself any present today coz I want to save my money for new job.. I won't have any fix income starting next month.. Hmmm.. I've had fun today... Real fun.. Laughter and all.. It's been ages since I laugh out loud ever since my career and relationship went down.. I cried in front of my lovely frens.. It was so embarrassing.. They each give me a hug.. Every single one of them.. This cry is once and for all and I have leave every thing behind me.. Throw away all the bad luck.. Start afresh in the new age.. I will do my best to achieve success.. Don't care about relationship now.. Coz it's a fucking useless and hurting to be involved in.. Tmr another day.. Looking forward to meeting up with my best fren.. Okie blog.. Update you again when I'm free.. Till then.. Happy birthday to me...

Alhamdulilah

Alhamdulilah.. Thank you Allah for the rezeki Ramadan that you have given me.. From giving me a lot of job offer, to allowing me to live to this day of my birthday and everything that you have put me all these years.. Amin..

Good news

Good and happy news on my birthday.. Received a call from the company that I went for my 2 times of interview.. Guess what.. I've been accepted into the company.. That means I have the chance of making more money than what I earn in my current job.. Provided I have to work real hard, sacrifice a lot of things, put time and effort into in.. Coz I have zero experience in this line.. I have to learn from scratch.. I don't expect to earn that much in the beggining.. But mark my words, if I were to stay long in this company, I will make loads of money.. I promise that to all of you.. The training that they going to put me in, will benefit me more and make myself even better.. I will learn from everyone there.. I will ask question and be thick skin.. They are a bunch of energetic guys.. From degree holders, to teachers to engineers and to anything.. I'm the lowest among them based on education.. So I will prove to them that even an ITE student can excel.. I'm going to do this with loads of perseverance, motivation and all.. I'm doing this all by myself.. Best thing is, sat and sun I'm off.. Wheeee... I can choose to work though.. Lol... Which I will if I have the opportunity.. Time is money.. No umi, no barrier, no politics, no nothing.. My mind is clear and I'm all set for this challenge.. People do support me and wish me luck.. I'm going to face a big time challenge with my new job and the people I'm going to face out there.. Good luck MAMAN.. All the best to you..

Thank you

Thank you people for all the birthday wishes.. Sorry if didn't reply thru Facebook.. Coz I won't be updating my Facebook anymore or login.. A good day today.. Outside with a friend.. So far so good.. And I'm so lucky that I can have the car whole day today to myself.. It's has been a great birthday celebration so far.. There's more people coming after their work later.. Yeah.. Thank you my friend for organizing this for me.. I really appreciate it.. I'm so sorry that I tell you only today simply because, both of my birthday wish never come true.. Which is to go out with umi whole day and see my son.. There's more to come.. A hot day today.. Hmmm.. Tmr my best fren going to treat me.. 2 days of celebration.. Lol.. 2 weeks to go and 7 days of work before I leave the place.. Sigh.. New job new work new environment new people new challenge.. That's it..

Birthday morning

Good morning people... It's my birthday morning.. I've got car to myself whole day today.. Where shall I go?? Hmm.. Not sure... As expected my both wishes for this year didn't come true.. Spend whole day with umi today and see my son... Never mind.. Hahahaha.. What shall I get for myself later?? Adidas watch or pants or shirts?? Hmm.. Maybe nothing.. I've got a feeling someone will call me later to ask me out.. I don't know who.. But I will just wait and see.. Hahahaha..

28th Birthday

Happy birthday to you.. happy birthday to you.. happy birthday to MAMAN.. Happy birthday to you.. May you have lots of happiness in future, earn lots of money and all the best in getting your dream job.. Work hard play hard.. No pain no gain.. Yea.. I've turn 28 years old.. Bingo.. But none of my 2 wishes has come true... Wahahahahaha.. It's okie.. Move on MAMAN..

Headache and migraine

Headache and migraine please go away.. Please...please... Argh... Plz don't come near my birthday.. You are always there everyday.. Plz go away..

Thinking

Hey people... I'm back home from 2nd round of interview.. It's an awesome day at the company.. But one thing for sure, i won't have basic salary or fix income every month.. Hmm.. I've decided to try it if I get into the job.. Coz the money that I will make will be big if I really put my effort and hardworking into it.. I believe I can achieve what they have already achieve.. My aim to be a branch manager in 2 to 3 years time.. If I become branch manager, I will the choice to be in Singapore or overseas country to open up a new branch and manage it with all staff under me.. I have to doubly work hard to achieve that coz most of them are overly qualified staff that works for the company.. It's really a tough challenge.. Working hours are from 1pm to 9 pm.. Mon to fri.. Hmm.. I'm just praying they will call me back in 3 to 5 days with good news.. But then all the bills that I have to pay every month, will be tough too coz of my not fix income.. I will see how it goes along the way.. I will work hard to achieve that money every week.. So that I can be rich and no worries about money.. Till then people.. 5 hrs and 28 mins to go for my birthday... Lol..

Wish me luck

It's 12pm and I'm on my way to the 2nd round of interview... I still feel weird wearing this smart attire... Hahaha... Wish me luck people.. Hope to get this job considering the money and the fun loving people there.. Well zaman, you can do it... You can do it alone.. Motivate yourself and drive yourself to success.. No one is going to help you or be there for you.. Achieve this yourself... You have no experience in this line and you know nothing about this line.. Learn from this job and better yourself k.. I still miss umi.. But I'm going to let it go slowly.. I will get over it soon..

2nd Round of Interview

Hey people... Good Morning to you all... Yessss... I'm short listed for the 2nd round of interview.. Same company as yesterday that I went... Yippee.. It will be at 1pm till 430pm today.. Nervous.. Will be wearing the same dress code as yesterday.. Smart long sleeve shirt, long smart pants and black smart shoe.. I hope to get this job.. Coz I will have the chance to work and based in overseas once I passed my training period and gain experience here.. I'm so happy... Too bad I didn't went for my surgery this morning... Sigh.. Postpone it to next month.. 14 more hours to my birthday.. :-) ... Tmr still got no plans.. Like I say, I will go out on my own and celebrate it myself.. I'm just going to be happy now and take things as it is.. I don't want to think about umi anymore, Im forcing myself to get my feelings for umi over.. It may take a long time before I forget her.. Well, it's okie.. By then I will be busy to think about umi when I start my new job.. So zaman, cheer up, live your life to the fullest, love yourself and make more money.. Once I make more money, I will support my parents and save money for marriage.. Provided there's some one out there who's willing to marry me when I'm over 30 years old... If not, I will remain bachelor till I die.. Thats better I guess coz no need to worry abt my wife, child, house and stuff.. Ok people.. I end here.. Going to rest a bit more and get my smart dress ready for later interview.. Till then.. Love you dearest blog..

I force myself to tell umi

I force myself to tell umi to forget each other.. It's hard for me and I think it's the best for the both of us.. She doesn't love me anymore anyway... So I don't think she will feel hurt.. Enough abt umi.. Let's end here about umi.. I can't wait to work in overseas.. I really want to leave Singapore and leave everything behind without looking back.. I can start a fresh in new country and worry about nothing when I'm there.. The lessons I learnt here, I won't repeat it when I'm overseas.. Zaman zaman... You are going to earn big money.. Put your heart, effort in this new job... 50 hours to go for my birthday.. Yippee... Be happy...

My mind is full of stuff

I've decided not to go for my surgery tmr... Due to some reasons.. Haiz.. Sorry my dear blog for flooding you every now and then., you are the only one that I can pour my hearts out and my thoughts coz none of my friends will find you.. I'm so mentally tired of looking for new jobs and thinking which career should I choose.. Sigh... This is not the best birthday gift for me.. 2 more days to go before I turn 28.. That is so fast..2 years time, I will be 30.. If ever I can reach that age.. Thank Allah for letting me to live up till now.. Seriously speaking, it's not good in keeping everything to yourself without sharing with any one.. I don't really talk to my family.. I don't haf a girlfriend.. My friends are so limited.. What I have now is my only best friend which I treasure him the most.. I don't want to bother him coz he's busy with his career and his girlfriend.. I'm going through a rough patch now.. My career is going down.. I'm still sad and remorseful about my previous relationship with umi.. I'm back to square one.. My colleagues are treating me like shit.. I've been controlling myself at work.. I will be ending this work real soon.. I'm looking for job in overseas as well.. To get away from every single thing over here.. If there is a chance for me to work overseas, I will grab it... I will stay there and who knows retire there as well.. That means whatever bill I'm paying here, I have to settle it before I leave.. So that I can leave Singapore with no worries.. And that means I can't get to see my son umi forever if ever I leave Singapore and work.. Sigh.. I still have time to consider about it.. Tmr I've got no plans.. Staying at home for me tmr, I'm not sure.. I may just go out and take a stroll out to somewhere.. On my birthday, definitely, I'm going out.. Even if it means I'm celebrating my birthday on my own.. I don't mind.. I will find things to do on that day.. If I got the mood, I shall get a watch for myself on my birthday.. Looking into Adidas watch.. Ya Allah, help me to get over this on my own with your help.. My bro and sister has a good career and they earn a lot.. Sigh.. My sis getting engage this year and they have bought their engagement ring.. I don't know whether I should buy a ring for umi now.. Coz her love for me has disappear.. :-( .. I am sad coz I've let a nice and kind hearted lady down and hurt.. I have to move on.. I don't want to be the one sided love affair.. I respect her decision coz I love her very much.. As long as she's happy, I'm happy for her too.. Update again later at night..

Im home

Im back home from the job interview.. Going out again in a while to the hospital.. Summary of today's job interview.. If I'm short listed, I have to go for 2nd interview tmr.. By 6 pm today, I will get to know the result.. If I'm selected after all this process, I will be under going training for 13 to 18 months of training.. Thats long man.. Pay wise I'm not sure.. They will tell me more about it tmr if I'm selected.. Benefits are, I can travel overseas 4 times a year in south east Asia, uk and Australia for free.. Looking at their website, I can get $3500 to $8400 a month upon completion of training.. And be in management level.. It depends on how long I can achieve all the training within that period.. Maybe lesser or more.. There's on job training during that period.. Sigh.. Very challenging and tough job.. The environment when I step in, cool, fun workplace.. A lot of young and energetic people.. From lady to man.. I have to wear smart clothes if I were to join the company.. Texted umi to say thank you for loving me and about her what's app status.. I din mean to say that she love some one else or have any one now, I'm just wishing her luck.. I think she got it wrong.. Nvm.. As long as I have good intention, I'm fine with it.. Boring day.. I'm so bored.. Wonder what umi is doing right now on her off day..

Interview

Good morning people... I'm on my way for job interview.. Wearing smart long sleeve shirt with black pant and black shoe.. Feel so weird in wearing this attire.. I've not been wearing this type of attire for so so long.. Umi's love feeling for me has disappear.. Yes.. It has disappear... Umi say her love is to be with me but she's not ready... Now I know why, she doesn't say I love you or I miss you nowadays.. Simply because her love feelings for me has disappear... Her what's app status states that "from friend to love"... What does she means by that? Has she fallen for some one else?? If yes, that's good for umi.. Sigh.. Never mind la.. After interview, I will go home and change... Then head out to hospital for my appointment alone.. How I wish umi can accompany me to the hospital since she's off today.. Guess she needs to rest at home and clean her house... It's okie zaman.. Ok people.. I'm going to listen to music and enjoy my day.. Till then.. Take care..

Thank you umi

Thank you so much umi for calling me.. It's so nice to hear your voice.. I miss it.. I appreciate that.. Hope you have a good rest tmr on your off day.. I'm off too tmr.. I hope you will give me one more last chance to be with you.. I will make full use of the last chance if you ever give me.. I really do hope you will think about it.. Your ulcer, please take good care of it and recover soon.. It pains me to see you suffer any injuries or to fall sick.. 2 more days to my birthday and I'm counting down... I've really got no plans for my birthday... Umi... You really can't take off on my birthday?? I know it's too much of me to ask you to take off.. I'm sorry... Sigh..

All done and set for tmr

Resume done.. Qualifications cert done.. Photos done.. All done for tmr morning interview.. Yeah.. All set to go.. Umi, better take care of yourself k.. Don't work so many days.. You need a good rest.. I just hope umi won't treat me differently anymore.. I love the way she used to SMS me when we first get to know each other and when we are in relationship.. Haiz..

On my home

On my way home from work... Got another call from another company.. Tmr morning interview with the company..nmy job application all is doing well.. All seems interested in hiring me.. Hmmm.. But then it's up to me to choose which company I will end up in the end.. Ayah miss umi.. So tmr plan is job interview and hospital appointment with specialist.. Wed to fri I've got no plans yet... Haiz...

Lunch break from work

Having my lunch break from work... So I decided to blog.. Listening to song by shayne ward title breathless and I cry... It's a meaningful song... It describe me the best at this point of time.. Just finish looking at umi's photo that we took together on the day she rebond her hair.. That's the first and last time we took photo together... Haiz.. Ive narrowed down to a few jobs in mind and I shall see the prospects of the job that I choose before I decide on my new career.. Wonder where umi is now.. Whether she's at work or at home.. Wondering what she is doing now.. Has she rest well over the weeks, her studies is it going well and stuff.. Wanted so much to SMS or call her.. But I know she won't reply or pick up my call.. Haiz.. Where are you that someone?? I really need someone to lean on now... I dont know when that someone will appear.. Maybe years later..I've been telling myself to be strong everyday and enjoy the day as it is.. No one knows that I've been crying a lot lately and I've been sleeping late at night and no appetite to eat also.. I'm motivating myself to live on now and it's not enough as I need that someone.. Should I get myself a watch for myself on my birthday?? Hmm.. Still thinking about it.. I've not been getting presents for my birthday for years already... Hahahaha... Sigh.. A very hot day today... Tmr is my shoulder appointment at NUH with the specialist.. To see and discuss the result of my shoulder ct scan.. I will be going alone tmr.. Son, I hope to see you one day.. Even if it is from far away.. I've never given you any father's love before... I'm really really sorry my dear son.. Till then blog.. I'm getting emotional already. Tears started to roll down from my eyes.. Bye people..

Good Morning

Good morning people... I'm on my way to work now.. Yesterday night umi texted me saying she will like to break fast with me on my birthday.. Coz she's working on that day.. I told her I don't know.. I fear that she will cancel it last minute again.. Haiz.. Although one of my birthday wish is to spend the day with umi, I rather not coz I don't want to feel hurt on my birthday.. Some more shes working and we only get to spend time for a few hours only together.. I rather she goes home and rest after a hard day at work.. Haiz...Not because I'm ego.. Let me spend my birthday whole day alone..Sad.. Or maybe theres some one out there that will surprise me on my birthday.. Hahahahaa... Forget about it... Start a new day today.. With a new bright smile and forget about all the unhappiness... 3 more days to my birthday and I'm wondering if I can get to see my son.. Only Allah knows...

Songs dedication to umi

Umi... This song im dedicating to you.. Breathless by shayne ward.. Go and listen to the song k.. Listen to the lyrics.. Click on the link... http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1LEt2aZBmZQ..

Here I am again

Had rice with sambal ball chicken for my break fast... On the way home, people from zoology ask me to join them instead of resigning.. Well, news spread very fast that I'm leaving.. I guess I won't be joining them coz I've had enough with the people at the zoo.. My heart is still with the animals and I feel very hard to leave the zoo.. I have to make the choice and move on with a better career.. Sigh.. My mum ask about umi again.. Haiz.. She ask me, when m I bringing her home?? Maybe we can break fast together or something or umi can just chill out at my house.. I told my mum both of us are busy with work and life.. And we haven't been meeting for nearly a month.. My mum says this to me.. Mak suka nurul.. Dia budak baik.. Kalau boleh Kau kahwin ngan nurul bila korang dah ready.. Mak tak kisah kalau dia ada masa silam ke apa2.. I was like eeerrrr ok... I told her insyallah.. Coz looking at our situation at the moment it's hard to say... I do hope to marry umi one day though.. But first I must make myself better and win umi's heart again.. I'm sincere about this.. Coz I've hurt her way too much and deeply.. I don't blame her for treating me this way.. I admit it's my mistake.. I deserve the cold treatment from umi.. I'm having headache and migraine now.. Argghhh.. It keeps coming almost everyday.. Medicine can't sure this sickness.. I need to rest.. Umi, if you are free today, call or msg ayah k...

Depression

Im having symptoms of depression... Sigh... Ended my work today... Left a few more days to go before I finally leave this place for good and start on my new job which I haven't decide which one to choose from.. My life journey so far has been a vulnerable lesson and I've learnt a lot of things throughout.. From work experience to relationship to family to having my own child.. I wonder what umi is doing at work now.. I hope to walk and send her back home before I leave this job.. For I really miss that moment.. Waiting for her at the bus stop, having dinner and stuff.. Once I start my new job, I'm unable to send her home as before coz I will be working 3 shift and in a new place which is far from my current job.. Haiz.. I will still wait wait for her quietly and patiently till she decide to get marry with other guy one fine day..well zaman... You have to motivate yourself to live on and look forward to your new job.. My birthday wish this year is to spend the day with umi and lastly being able to see my son and get to know his name.. Miss my son.. I didn't even get to see him when he's born and didnt get to kiss and hold him.. This is a test from god to me.. Relationship with umi and my son.. Accept it with both hands and be glad that Allah is putting you through this cycle.. It's time for me to go home and on the way break fast.. See you my dearest blog.. Love and miss umi dearly..

Lunch break

Im having my lunch break now... Haiz.. I've not been myself for the past few weeks... Sigh.. I've gotten a few job offer now.. I don't know which one to choose.. Haiz.. I really need someone's advise... I want to share this with umi and see what she say about it.. But I guess she's busy.. I really miss umi very much.. Only god knows how badly I miss her.. My feelings for her are even stronger now after what has happened over the month.. I love her deeply.. I've been sending out resume, going for job interview and medical check up for my new job... I hope to break fast with umi one day and meet up with her.. Really... My birthday is coming in 4 days time.. I've got no plans for that day.. If no plans, then I will be staying at home.. Umi is working on my birthday and she will not be celebrating it with me.. I really hope she can spend some time with me n my birthday.. Zaman love Nurulzarifah very much..